Euphoria

Defined: a pleasant state of high spirits; a state of extreme well-being and pleasure.

I was hoping I would be able to flood this strip of page with each-day-milestones-to-share for the entire month of December. But due to my unacceptable excuses (erm, which need not to be divulged anymore:P) coupled with the unexpected rainy weather on a cold December (yes, it should be. But the cold makes it gloomier, ripping the Christmas breeze in it), this blog has been empty since the 4th day of the month.

However, despite the long-days of absence, I still can vividly recall in graphic accounts, each occasion. This has quite been a momentous month (28 days to date). I had never been elatedly busy, as the busy-ness had been overpowered by the better things:D

1. My brother's and officemate's wedding had both kept me to almost-to-tears. Even I myself could not explain why (not even of the thought that it would sadden me of my brother leaving the house, or my officemate leaving his 'bachelor' life), my tears were lurking on the lids (but never dropped. Maybe because I tried not to). Unconventional wedding traditions and sumptuous meals. They sure had made it one of the most memorable day of their lives (and added to ours too..)

2. The two-time despe party for our beloved friend at Tagaytay and the so-called "Batangas". Freezing cold swimming party and the Cinderalla-like hangout (as I was interrupted at 12midnight -- the slave has been called for duty!) And now, another one has flown to pursue the 'American Dream'. There weren't much tears, but still it sure is a saddenning thought that we're starting to really grow smaller...

3. There were a lot of merriment for the Christmas holidays. Three I had for the company (OPI, ISD, IR2-WEB), two for the family (Bats and Home), and one for my forever KUBO friends (@ the not so Good Earth and ej's). And oh, I had to say that I won a microwave:P I just felt I would win. Hehehe. Oh I did forget there was one more, we had an Enchanted Christmas Party the day after Christmas, which I got another gift.. A bruise from my brother who shot me on my right arm when we played the paintball challenge. Darn.

4. The Christmas-list-conference with my siblings until 1am, and took me almost 10 sheets of my deskpad (now I'm using it, thanks much much:P) to rewrite, and finally come up with the list for the entire clan. Whew. And how much did we actually had for budget? Man, whopping xxx amount. Well, 'tis the season of giving, to be jolly. It doesn't really matter:P

5. The ACTUAL shopping. Well, I didn't had much involvement in this. As I had not done my own.. I still owe alot of people for presents, which I really need to pursue this much-awaited BREAK I needed.

6. THE BREAK. THE BREAK!!! I had been wanting this to happen. I had been dreading for me to sleep away, read away and BE AWAY from work. ALthough I had not been much successful (I cannot keep myself from connecting that is. Argh), I am still God-thankful for this:) I SHALL be making the most of my 3 free working days.

7. The gifts I have received: must say I am all happy and grateful for each:) As always;)

I am still in the euphoric stage. And I must contain this until the dreadful moment when I will be recaptured and be enslaved again by the monstrosity of the corporate jungle.

[get this widget]

Switchfoot - Stars

Maybe I've been the problem
Maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself
The outcome feels the same

I've been thinking maybe I've been partly cloudy
Maybe I'm the chance of rain
And maybe I'm overcast
And maybe all my luck's washed down the drain

I've been thinking 'bout everyone,
Everyone you look so lonely
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself

Stars looking at a planet
Watching entropy and pain
And maybe to start to wonder
How the chaos in our lives could pass as sane

I've been thinking 'bout the meaning of resistance
Of a hope beyond my own
And suddenly the infinite and penitent
Begin to look like home

I've been thinking about everyone
Everyone you look so empty
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself.
Yeah!

Everyone, Everyone feels so lonely
Everyone, yeah everyone feels so empty
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I feel like myself
When I look at the stars
The stars, I see someone...

[get this widget]

Impulsive, Reckless

Haaaayy. How can I ever keep myself from being so impulsive yet reckless when deciding on simple matters. Damn, I really hate myself. I can't even be patient for at least four days!! Augh!!!

And then after all these impulsive decisiveness, I find myself regretting of that shit decision. Damn. Sometimes spur of the moment works good on me, however sometimes (or MOST OF THE TIME) a little bit of CONTEMPLATION should be taken into consideration.

I hate ME. ME. ME!!!! Grrrrrrrrr!!! Huhuhuhuhuh:'( I have to punish myself for being so childishly, recklessly impulsive.

[get this widget]

Pop Question #002: Bakit ba?

Na-post ko na ito dati. Pero, my observation has been not been my own. I have shared the same 'theory' that may turn out a LAW. Oh no, wag naman sana!!!

Bakit kaya mas marami yung mga magagandang mga babae ang nage-end up sa mga not-so-handsome na mga lalake... Kaysa sa mga magagandang lalaki na nage-end up sa mga hindi kagandahang mga babae?

Gets mo? So eto na ba talaga nagpapatunay na physical lang talaga ang first level ng mga lalake? Pag chaka yung itsura, goodbye nalang! At ang mga babae, habang may buhay.. may pag-asa! Na hindi natatapos sa pisikal na kaanyuan ang lahat. Madadaan pa sa kabaitan at kasipagan:P Achecheche!

Depende pa rin. Pero san kayo mag/nag-fall? Hihihihihi:P

[get this widget]

Pop Question #001: Ano daw?

Ano daw ang ibang lugar (o sige kahit word, pero mas maganda lugar:P) na may 'G' na nagiging 'H' pag binasa?

E.g. Corregidor.

Sino ba daw naman kasi ang nag-imbento na bigkasin sya na 'Corre-hi-dor' imbis na 'Corre-gi-dor'? Hindi ba ang Pilipino ay -- kung ano ang sulat, sya ang basa... o kung ano ang basa syang sulat? (ah ewan kung ano man yun na sabi ni Ms. Filipi1, hehe)

[get this widget]

Guess who's back

Fresh Tomato splats again.

[get this widget]

Happy HOLLOWeen

Augh. Who could have ever spent this 4-day-weekend-sandwiched-two-working-days-again-three-weekends occasion better? Or should I say who could have ever spent the worst 'holidays' than me?! I have enslaved myself from work (with friggin' slow network!), became a janitress for a day and bummed myself to sleep on a Sunday because of a terrible migraine, and slept until midnight for my whatevers. BLECH!

I should have been on a beach. Or on a road-trip. Or been to Baguio (which I had only been once. When I was three). Or an overnight gimmick somewhere out-of-town and off my pc.

Poor me. I guess I just have to 'enjoy' the 'holidays' on November 1 and try to finish reading the Goblet of Fire.

Whining,
HollowGirl on a HalloWeen

Gusto ko umalis!!!!!!!!!!!

[get this widget]

Catharsis

Definition: The release of tension and anxiety by recounting and/or acting out past experiences.

I had a brief cathartic chat with a few friends. And funny how it seems that they are beginning to realize how life should be, and should have been. Now they know how to choose, know what they want, know when to try or risk, know where to put theirselves when dipped into deep sh*t.

Thanks;) Even if I hadn't experienced much to what have you had, I know it'll pull me through when I will. All had been heard, read, and kept in mind and carved in heart as well. You'll hear from me yakking, whining, struggling and howling with tears when I have my own share. For now I remain to be the addressee.

[get this widget]

Guilty Fries

It wasn't so late for me going home, but it was sure late for dinner. As I dropped myself in front of Jollibee, I decided to buy myself from hunger. One piece chicken joy and regular fries as usual. The first just came out right, however the latter had to keep me waiting. So I opened Goblet of Fire and whiled away for my fries. As I saw the red tray coming over my table, a large fries came lying on it. Thought that I had to wait a little longer.. But the guard was slowly coming over my way, then handing that large fries. I came looking for the receipt, and I read twice if I had just ordered large. But, it was as if I was reading in BOLD, saying REGULAR. or REG that is. I came thinking if I had to return and ask to be changed. Pretending to be naive and innocent of the said mistake, I went out and started eating.

Walking slowly, waiting in queue for the tricycle, and guilt-stricken as I was finishing the fries. Damn. The whole time I was munching each strip. I was battling with myself but I didn't do anything. Hahaha. Funny, para akong ewan na nakikipaglaban sa moral at sa gutom ko. Sabi ko pa, sasakit tiyan ko sigurado! Still, I ended finishing it all up (hungry still, though). Hay. It hadn't been me. I always return or ask to change my order if it hadn't been right (even if it'll be of my advantage). But I didn't know if I had just be too hungry (to death!) to exchange it for guilt.

Oh well. It'll be the last time. And I just came accomplishing that good deed, when I cashed-out my rebate for my Globe line. Hehe. The cashier gave me 2050, instead of 1250. Weird that he was, he came counting and reciting the bills. He said, "Ma'am your total cash is, One (thousand bill) thousand, Two (two 500 bills) hundred, and 50 (one fifty) pesos". I came counting myself in front of him, and repeated what he had just said. Then still he didn't get it. I wasn't successful of making him realize that he made a mistake. I was furious of his attention, then just came bluntly that he gave two five hundred bills instead of a hundred. As I walked out, I just realized that I am still a good girl, nonetheless:P

Good deed, dear:)

[get this widget]

Our Pseudo

Samuel Johnson. Marco Lance. Patrick. Haha. It is fun having our pseudos. That even with our own vivid, common, shared imagination, we are making things happen. As we want it. Haha. Desperate? Nah. We are just making fun of ourselves;) While waiting, let our minds wander through the 'catatonic' love lives... condition of being apparently awake but unresponsive (as google had defined).

[get this widget]

Milestone #002: 22

1. A card.
2. Two pictures with snippets of other picturettes.
3. cake with pink candles.
4. Pizza pasta chicken.
5. Dedications -- weird and funny and sweet and touching and inspiring!
6. 13 people.
7. Giftwrap tearing-- nada! Haha.
8. An emoticon gift.
9. An emoticon cake.
10. From myself - Nike Free.
11. No space for new messages.
12. Postponed evals.
13. 2k.
14. A black pen.
15. Green shirt.
16. Taco Bell's cinnamon twists.
17. Ube ice cream.
18. Marshmallows.
19. Irene (Wtf?! Ooops peace:P).
20. Waiting gift. Please pend, indefinitely (augh!).
21. Calls.
22. Home.

Missing some. Missing. Miss. Mmmmmmmmmmm.

Fun. More. Ta-tuh!

[get this widget]

Quote #001: The Evals

Never let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. - Jens Dahl

[get this widget]

What I Didn't Know - Athenaeum

I complain
When nothing's even wrong
And you're ashamed
Cause you're not quite that strong

That's when I said I'll need
More than you can offer me
I miss your face as you can tell
I hope my absence makes you well

Cause what I didn't know
Is I was killing you
I said a lot of things that I didn't mean to
But I am older now
And I am sorry too
So I can wait awhile
If it brings me back to you

I am shy
I never speak a word
And you are numb
From all the things you never heard

That's when I said I'll need
More than you can offer me
But now I own an empty space
And I can't fill it with your face

Cause what I didn't know
Is I was killing you
I said a lot of things that I didn't mean to
But I am older now
And I believe in you
So I can wait awhile
If it brings me back to you

[get this widget]

Milestone #001: First Anniversary

Quite nearing 22nd year of existence, it had been thought of putting down important, more so -- significant milestones that occur in my life. So let's just start with this..

First off, i had been corrected that it is grammatically incorrect to say "First Year Anniversary". It is redundant since "anniversary " already defines a year. So it has been noted. Thanks;)

Celebrating my first year in my 3rd "Second Home" was nothing much but an ordinary day. It was a usual Tuesday when I came on time (just like my first day last year:P) and sat on my cube starting to read mails and checking for tickets that I have to work on for the rest of the day. I have greeted two of my colleagues the same greeting I gave myself the moment I woke up, and those I have received since I got into the office. I was wondering if they felt the same thing I was feeling that moment on. Well, there's really no big deal about it, but I was just thinking if they were as quizzical as I was, pondering on how time flew so "fast". Or were they thinking that they had to "celebrate" their first year. Or are they "rejoicing" because they've got one more year left and they are (we are) broken free from the ball and chains. Or they are just simply "happy" and "contented" with what they have now, and thankful that they have WORK and THUMBS UP people to work with... Well enough of what they were thinking. I didn't even bother to ask. Guess they were thinking of it themselves and wondering the same way I did.

The first year may not be as extraordinary or did not shower brand-spanking new experiences to this so-called life, but I have to say that they were great. Really, time flies so fast. I came to meet alot of people, know things about other people, discovered alot about people, have analyzed the eccentricities of each person, have come to accept people as they are, no matter what. Precocious that I was/am, I have learned alot in a year.

Time:
1 month pretending to do something, and awaiting exactly for 5:30 to strike, racing against the door for dismissal. Trainings that seemed like so schoolish that I have missed.
8 months of imprisonment (with benefits:)) in the conference room made the bulk of the year.
3 months of "real work" came rummaging thru the core of "production"

People:
More than 80 people working in one floor
Six trainors
One "dad", one full "brother", and the rest are my half "siblings"
12 goofy teammates
one "odd" "Boss" (I had to put it in separate quotes since they had different connotations)
More than 30 "newbies" (dancing 80's, 90's and present).
[Those people that have gone in and out within one year had been more than momentous to call it a milestone.]

Place
One cube that I came populating with trash, and that turned to be the "water station"
One floor to which people spend more than 8 hrs
One sad looking bldg (because of its gray color) with poor elevator, and weird tenants from the lower levels (wish I can stalk at Kris Aquino by chance)
One way that I got to travel (in 2 hrs at max and 45 mins at min) for 5 years and counting

I have bought, received, lost, gained, gave, thrown away alot of memories and experiences. Some were firsts, some might be the last, some should be the last, some hopefully may not be the last, some may happen to be the first, some may not happen at again, some I never expected to happen, some I dreadfully wished not to happen but did, some I wanted to happen and did happen, and some just happened.

There's just too much in a year that happened and could not be compressed in one post. Glad that I am here. Aand after a year, I guess I have to say I am ready for one more:)

Evals coming up next week. Keeping my fingers crossed. My heart is thumping so fast.

[get this widget]

OktoberFest!

• Oct 03 - Betz's Birthday ; Leo's Back! ; Lunchout!
• Oct 04 - Our First Anniv ; walang lunchout:P ; NP w/ Jode
• Oct 05 - Pam's Birthday ; Libre Pam!!!
• Oct 06 - Lunchout c/o Leo ; San kaya?
• Oct 11 - Carlos' First Anniv ; May lunchout kaya?:D
• Oct 12 - hmmmm ; Pizza party?
• Oct 14 - Farewell party for Leo hehe ; Sino kaya papa-lunchout dito?:D
• Oct 15 - Party!!!!! ; sembreak na ng mga med students!
• Oct 21 - Monch's Birthday ; Libre Monch!
• Oct 29 - She's First Anniv ; Lunchout kaya kami?
  
• (POST OktoberFest!)
  *Nov 2 - Angel's First Anniv ; sabay na yan kay She! :P
• ThursDays are bowling days!

More to Come! More to Come!

[get this widget]

Moshi moshi

My Japanese name:

This kanji means Enlightenment.

[get this widget]

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that i melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothin's going to stop me but devine intervention
I reckon its again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
Ah la peaceful melody
It's your godforsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So i won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
It is our fate, I'm yours

Well I been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bendin' over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm sayin is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
I like one big family
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won't hesitate no more
Oh no more no more no more
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved, I'm sure
Theres no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No I won't hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm yours

[get this widget]

Yesterday Is Gone (My Dear Kay(e)) - Lenny Kravitz

I'm sorry your situation
Has let you down
I know that things did not go as planned
'Cause in this time you're feeling alone and sad
This is what you must understand

There is a way
Yesterday is gone
It's a new day
Yesterday is gone
Yesterday is gone
Yesterday is gone
My dear Kay(e)

You can't get nowhere
Staying at home and crying
You can't go on living in the past
The one thing constant is that there is always change

There is a way
Yesterday is gone
It's a new day
Yesterday is gone
Yesterday is gone
Yesterday is gone
My dear Kay(e)

[get this widget]

Coincidence or Fate

It could've been worse, or it could've been better. No one ever knows.

Who could ever put up a testimony that some things happen with or without a reason? Who could ever attest that there is no such thing as coincidence? Or would contest otherwise?

Is there really a thing called Fate? That all things have been planned, and choose that plan. Or it is just a matter of putting up your own Faith? Because you think that it would happen, you make it happen.

I have and had been in a roller coaster ride of emotions. I have confused myself into thinking the truest meaning of events that transpire everyday. I have persistently been praying to God that He may give me the rhyme and reason to all of these.

However I came to realize that I need not. Thru all of these, I am a masochist for nothing. I have buried myself into deep exasperation of thinking how LIFE works for me. It is just a matter of living it.

Hay. Now it all comes back to me. Just as I thought that I've forgotten it. dropped it. denied it. thrown it. It had not. I still have not. Leaves me a BIG SIGH. A silent sigh that deafens my entirety with a screaming plea.

===
why? until when? how? how will you know? will you? even if it hurts? is it, really?

[get this widget]

Sunrays And Saturdays - Vertical Horizon

Open the window
Let the sunset in
If only for the last time
Let me see you smile again

I'll take my records
You can have your books
I'm sorry I never read them
But it says so much about us

Always trying
To make love out of care
The perfect recipe
But something wasn't there

[Chorus:]
Sunrays and Saturdays
Perfect starry nights
Sweet dreams and moonbeams
And a love that's warm and bright
Sunrays and Saturdays
Friendship strong and true
Oceans of blue and a room with a view
To live the life you choose

You'll write me letters
I'll call you on the phone
A wire away from touching
And never quite alone

We'll get to know ourselves again
And we'll heal our hearts
It's not that we're bad together
We're just better off apart

Always trying
To have one and one make two
And even though it never worked
I still feel love for you

[get this widget]

Firsts

Whoa. Bringing myself back to life, with a few firsts for the month.

First time I,
Did my "job".
Got admitted to the hospital.
Had dextrose.
Held hands squeezed tight.
Spent two straight days (and almost sleepless night) with the TEAM:D
Dropped both phones.
Didn't sleep because of work.
Was stranded.
Bought two pairs of shoes at one time.
Got a perfect score on videoke.
Went home leaving my bag at the office.

Hay:) I'm still young:D In a few weeks I'll turn another year older, and still there are more FIRSTS to come;)

[get this widget]

Highness

This is quite a delay. But the memory still lingers, and the thought of that night will always be easily at grasp.

We have grown;) She was really panicky over the week before that day on how to go about the event. Well not really of the event, twenty-two years of celebration is nothing, but the problem is with the banquet itself. Hehehe. Pano, she was expecting almost THIRTY, yes, 3-0, people to come over and celebrate with her. Daym, I never realized that we were really that big if were really complete:D To add, she had invited her other friends she just recently gained from med school. Buti nalang, she came telling her mom about it, and finally settled to hold it in their humble abode.

We were excited, especially me, about the event because my other girl-friend had plotted a surprise! Wiipeee! I love throwing surprises (and being thrown at, too!). The thought of their bulging eyes, whopping with awe, bursting out of their sockets was surely something I was looking forward to.

We were late, as usual. Half of it because of me, quarter of it because of the other driver (:P), eighth of it because of the parking, and the rest was because I still came looking for that person in the parking lot. Hehe. With anxiousness that I made that person wait (again:P), and the worry that a sudden change of mind be made because of the lack of information on the venue. Hehe. Well, a shake of the head was given, and a sigh, and a sort of complain was heard, but we still made it. Hehehe. I was pushing it because it was part of the surprise:D

And so they were all there. They were in shock on the sight of me, telling me that I am now 18 years old. Harharhar. For those who didn't know, I was only 13 since we last saw each other (at puerto:D). But now, I'm on my pony tail and my cult accessories (I've been praying real hard you know:P). And there was our photographer friend who plays candidly on shooting at us. Till we're drop dead for pictures. Haha. I was so happy that I was able to see them complete, almost, and we were all there to share with her the event.

It was great. Nothing special, but it was great. It always had been the best being with them. I feel safe and at extreme highness (with no illegal medications taken:P).

To call it my story, I was happy that when we lighted them all, as expected, they were in total shock and I am glad they really liked them;) There's still the anecdote of the cake but I will save it for another post. It deserves a solo. Hahaha. I was just totally happy that they not only liked them, but loved them. Hay:) With the looks on their faces, whew, made me stretch a timid smile, but jolted my heart that came jumping and shouted for joy! Still, I am bearing that with me;) It was all worth it.

[get this widget]

Three Days

It's been three days since the last exchange of words were given. She said it was nothing on the first day. On the second, she thought it was normal. But this third day, she came across the thought that maybe it isn't. It wasn't nothing and it is not normal. She thought that it was something she knew she could handle, but at the end of today, she's probably wrong. She was attached. She is. And for the longest time (longest time in that short span), it was routinary for them to be in correspondence. Even if there is really nothing to talk about (maybe bored, tired, frustrated, down, a complainant, retrospective, restless, stressed, basically in any mode they were), they will talk, in whichever avenue they might think they can reach each other. She got to talk with her friend, and was even proud to say that she is okay. But, with the looks of it, obviously she is not.

She had reconciled to herself about the things that were bothering her for the past weeks. And the day she prayed to God that He might give her the sign she wanted, in His grace, He actually did. She prayed hard (with her other friends who felt for her), that whatever happens on that day would give a clearer picture of her uncertainties. She thanked God, that despite what happened, there's always a good thing that transpired. Enough of the preaching, but God is really good that He never leaves you with nothing. Despite all, there's still something we're given to realize that there's always the good in everything.

Funny it is, it only had been three days. It is not the end of it all, my dear (so he calls you:)). What you have is not for trash that you will throw away right then and there. He would not think of that. He doesn't even know that that's what you're thinking! Harharhar. Paranoid you. Dang. Learn from it. Feeling is strong, you've got nothing to worry about.:) Am Positive. Cheer up! Everything will be fine. You're just thinking too much. Learn from him;)

Experience is the best teacher. But who said that it only had it be yours for you to learn?

[get this widget]

Pampalipas oras

Habang nag-aantay ako na tumira yung kalaban ko sa YG (:P), naisip ko yung mga "say" sakin ng mga tao sa akin lately. Medyo weird, na nakakainis, na nakakatawa, na ewan. Hehehe. Una, first impression daw sakin "mataray". Nge. Totoo ba yan? Hindi ko alam kung naiinis ako kasi hindi naman totoo, o dahil ayaw ko lang tanggapin? Kahit si ***, akalain mong sinabi sakin na 'actually, yan talaga ang first impression ko sayo.' At sinabi din ni **** na, 'mataray ka naman talaga e'. At pinaka nakakaasar na sinabi ni ***** na 'oo, nakakainis yung pagkamataray na gusto kitang ...'. Wag ko na ituloy baka sya ang ma.... ko. Ah ewan. Pero good thing pa rin ba na sabihin na kahit ganon na ang first impression, di naman daw nag-last? And hindi talaga totoo? Ewan. The fact kasi na may ganong impression, negative that is, syempre hindi masaya diba? Who would take a negative comment with a smile diba? At mag-thank you pa ako dahil ganon impression nila? Oh well. Sige pasalamat na lang ako (o sila?) na hindi talaga ako ganon:P

This week or this month lang ata, dami nagsabi na maganda daw feet ko. Wahaha. Ano yan parang manok? Kelangan kilatisin ang paa? Adidas? Hahaha. Pero in fairness, sabi ng boss ko (hehe mega boss to! wooohooo!) maganda daw sya, at marami daw guys ang may mga fetish dito (haha, totoo at may kilala ako:p). Hay. Parang ano ba yan, hello, I have nice feet. Can we be friends? Yuck ano ba yan. Hehehe. So dapat pala pag nag-date ako dapat naka-sandals. Wekhekhek. Pero in fairness, kahit na madami nakapansin, nahiya naman ako bigla. Tinatago ko tuloy yung paa ko pag napapansin. Hehe. (pero nag-yapak ako kahapon nung nag-10-20 kami. Hahahaha!)

Last but not the least comment, eh TUMABA DAW AKO!! Wahaha! Applause, applause! Hehe, congrats. Pero, sa sinabi nya sakin, parang natakot tuloy ako. Inasar kasi ako na "taba", feeling ko tuloy OA na. Waaaah. Tinanong ko pa sya kung good o bad. Sabi nya nde naman daw masyadong panget. Man, the operative word.. 'masyadong'.. ibig sabihin medyo lang. Oh no! Natakot naman ako bigla. Ayoko naman maging lumba-lumba. Gusto ko lang magkalaman. Hehe.

Yun lang. Tapos ko na to, di pa rin sya nakakatira. Hay ang tagal mo!:P

[get this widget]

Past

The head is complaining of a bad headache, and wishes to be banged against the wall. But here are her fingers starting to frolic towards the keys and try to mimic the story in her head that wants to be untold.

It had passed. And now, with all truthfulness and honesty, she has come to say it was all in the past. Well, there was really no "past" to speak of in the first place, but for the sake of saying that she had, so say there is. There was no tension.. no apprehensions to talk of the present (although only at one side). And who would have thought that it was her giving "advice", so to speak, about relationships and overcoming dilemmas of it. Harharhar. What a funny way to get back talking. Anyway, what's even funnier is to discuss how to get over his "persistent" problems about such, those he thought he had gone over in the past, but unfortunately didn't, and he is still experiencing with his present. Although, there was a significant change, and she is glad that things have been better. But the point is that now, she is the one giving advices on how to overcome it, and now he's listening.. Oh well. Maybe he thought she was just being idealistic that they could still get the relationship (if ever there was, really) back on track. What the heck! In any case, she is happy that he has found that person that could make him happy, and to get him out of that box he has been keeping himself tucked for more than 20 damn years.

And then she realized afterall, that she's been hearing herself on him. about him. of him. Whatever. What he is yakking about is what she's been yakking to another, and the advices that she has been giving were those that another person is giving her. Did you get it? It was as if she had the license of giving them. More so, it was a bad idea since it was an unsolicited advice, and it sounded pathetic that it was as if she was talking to herself. Oh well.. It's always easier said than done.

So to cut the long story short, she is glad that she got the friendship back. It was something that meant more to her than anything else. She firmly believed that it will never die whatever happens. And she hopes she's still right.

[get this widget]

Mantra

Prescription:
1. Take occasional breaks.
2. Repeat aloud as often as possible.
3. Breathe and internalize.

You can only live one day at time.

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win.

You can't have the best of both worlds.

Relax and enjoy whatever is there.

You will either find a way, or make one! - Hannibal

--
Thank you for making things lighter. Sure these are just words, but more than that I know there are people I can rant on to whenever. I hope you will still be there until my vocal cords are strained and my fingers complain (to build my yakking into words). Thank you.

imu.

[get this widget]

Leech

Just when you thought you lost them all, they all come back and wave to say that they are still here.

It has been a stressful week. I have never been stressed this much, as far as I can remember. Enough of the whinings, this time I felt my brain shut down for an hour. I was completely immobile, unproductive, and relenting for a moment there. But I was glad that I have recovered myself from such agony and pulled out by people who, just as I thought, would never leave me in awe. Even with a single word, even a single gesture, even with simple smile, never failed to boost me with hope.

I am happy that I have you, all, here with me. I am standing here, attached to every piece of you. Caress me with your comforting words. Bathe me with your touch. Speak to me like songs I'll never hear. Don't ever leave me, will you? But I know someday you will. You all will. I'll be alone someday, yet still I am thanking you all. For now, be with me as I fall asleep.

[get this widget]

Blue Sky - Hale

When do stars fade their light?
Does the moon and the sun make it right
For you the world maybe
Like an endless storm chasing a mystery

Is there hate in your heart?
Does your body drop and tell you to stop
Loving you or loving me
When it all falls down you just sing with me

Coz there's a blue sky waiting tomorrow
Waiting tomorrow shining and shimmering
A blue sky waiting tomorrow
Waiting tomorrow
Maybe it's all we need

Oh don't you wash away that smile
You just look out the window and see the light
It's beautiful to be alive
It's wonderful to live a life

The sun is sure to shine
For you and me for everyone
So don't be sad it's just the start
Of a new beginning in your life

Rain will keep on pouring
Some things you can't control
And while the sun seems far and hard to hold
It will unfold

There will always be a blue sky
A blue sky waiting tomorrow

[get this widget]

To Violet

To read of another intricately written prose about a woman's love to once she called her man, never failed to bring a concealingly weeping heart and an almost teary-eyed facade. It must have been really hard for her to let go. In retrospect, through all of the years spent together, it is definitely a struggle to draw herself out of that history.

And so Violet came reading constantly that woman's posted grief. It was as if the pain was seeping through her veins. It was as if she was feeling the same way. They knew nothing of each other. They were strangers, Violet and that woman. But what could have brought Violet to feel just the same? It was a mystery. It is.

No one would ever have thought that she was invlove, oh i mean inlove.. errr, involved with that same man. There was just a mere connection of amity between Violet and that man. But she never thought, in her darkest moments, she will fall.

To Violet, who knew nothing about love..

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
Sonnet XVII - Pablo Neruda

From the archives to bring you hope of your love to be discovered.

[get this widget]

Not much of a change

So, did you like it? It's still the same ol' tomato. But it needed to be replenished. It's been a year and things have changed. Some are for good. Some turned worse. However, no drastic changes just yet. Maybe soon. If things turn out really well.

I'm happy:) Really.

[get this widget]

Fruity Talk

I came across this site and found quite interesting to be shared. I was looking for something to rename my url, and came across finding sites about tomato.. which is indeed a fruit. And found some exact translation of some fruits in Tagalog.

Cooking Banana/Plantain = Saba
Bitter Melon/Bitter Gourd = Ampalaya (someone was arguing to another the correct translation. and now i know they're both correct)
Caimit = Kaimito
Guanabana/Soursop = Guyabano

And that:
Loofah is really a fruit. And it's also called the "sponge gourd".
Pumpkin seeds are the true "squash seed".
Tomato are not to be refrigated -- the cold adversely affects the flavor and the flesh.

--
http://www.nutribase.com/fruits.shtml

[get this widget]

Balisong - Rivermaya

It has been different. Nostalgic it is, but now it resounds with a different tone.. A tone which echoes the same way as the throbbing of my heart.

Your face lights up the sky on the highway.
Someday, you'll share your world with me someday.
You mesmerize me with diamond eyes;
I try to fool myself to think I'll be alright.
But I am losing all control -
My mind, my heart, my body and my soul

Never in my life have I been more sure,
So come on up to me and close the door.
Nobody's made me feel this way before;
You're everything I wanted and more.

To speak or not to; where to begin.
The way dilemmas I'm finding myself in.
For all I know you only see me as a friend.
I try to tell myself wake up fool; this fairy tale's got to end.

[get this widget]

130th

you will never always get what you want.

and things always, always do not turn out the way you expect it to be.

coz it is always the infamous "expect the unexpected".

but it is always at its best to get the feeling of a SURPRISE.

[get this widget]

Reinventing

I'm better. It's good to personally justify that you can manipulate your feelings/actions/reactions. It's just a matter of putting things into perspective. Even if it's hard, the truth is that it is only our choice to keep our vision straight. Right through where it's supposed to be.

Alas, alas! For the nth time around, I have been reminded that I am a big contradiction. Hahaha. I always keep on yakking about "living life to the fullest", but i myself haven't internally and fully accepted. To be "ideally preaching" of how should life be lived has just been a still picture. Devoid of action, as to walk the talk, or practice what you preach. I am just as always, fond with words.. Or with talking that is.

To love, to life, even to the tumultuous politics, I have then realized that I don't have any license to talk about it. Without, or the lack of experience and attachment to them, I do not have just as credibility to even pose a thought to be believed that i do make sense. Rubbish.

What's the next step? Thanks to the pep-talks I get every morning in my mails, and a bit of sermon through instant messaging, I have to work this out. I have to work myself out to be better, and to live the way I should, and the life as it is. For me, as ideal as it can be. Striking boldly, that to be ideal doesn't necessarily mean being perfect. But to lead it as you like it, thru your own (rooting from the word) IDEA. That the entire universe will conspire to help you achieve it. And that it will always be the FAITH that will keep you through.

Amen.

[get this widget]

Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own - U2

Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time
You and I...that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need...I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -
Sing, you're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me...

Where are we now?
I've got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home
Don't leave me here alone...

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

===
Thanks to Jonathan who gave me that U2 CD:P Belated/Advanced Merry Christmas:D

[get this widget]

In Random

We can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.

There is a struggle between to write or to read. The senses have been battling whether to burst out your own sundry emotions or to take in emotional spurts as you leaf through the pages of another man's story. The heart is in demand of both. Which will you choose?

To think or not to think. Inevitably, the brain is incapable of malfunctioning. Unless you want to be dead. Or to be mentally inoperative. But to keep yourself from thinking of the shoulda-woulda-coulda's. Damn, really driving you nuts. To live life to the fullest will be the greatest remedy. To forget that the word REGRET even exists.

To love or to hate. There's a very thin line that separates four letters, that only sets its boundaries with its last commonality. 'E'.. for EMOTIONS. that both are genuine emotions, that can one can draw the conclusion to which side he has fallen into until physically acknowleding the situation. Feelings can never be dreamt, imagined, or even justified without confronting it. Even if it is surreal to even find words to encompass the true meaning of it, the truth beyond what the heart is beating can only be acknowledged upon sincere acceptance.. that you have fallen to love, or crashed upon hate.

I have then realized that in my defenses, I have come to incur contradiction to put myself into deep exasperation of masochism. That in arguments, I am beginning to feel that I am gaining more knowledge, and that I can build up my own view points towards a specific idea. And that to argue (without physical contact) and stress your brain from stretching its nerves to come up with bursts of ideas for the heck of contradicting, has brought me that relief that my brain is still working. Haha. Freak. However, now I am beginning to confuse myself to which side I'm really into. I am not somewhere in the middle. Neither at the positive or at the negative. I am like a limitless and directionless contradiction flowing against through both ends of infinity. I am posting another conflict, is this just me with "specific men"?

I have to stop. The room is now filled with strangers. Only through solitude I could embrace my indefinite comfort for words.

[get this widget]

Girlfriends

one of those, if not the only, opinion that mattered most to me.. whose influence can strike me the most, good or even bad (and can be the WORST!). hehehe. who would definitely, and i mean with utmost certainty, never leave you without a word of HOPE or anything to back you up. if the worse comes to the worst, there's always that escape to recover from you being caught up in whatever trap you have got yourself into. the ulitmate, REALIST, who can break you free when you're blinded by idealism that's ruling in YOU.. to allow you to view the box on different perspectives.

a prisoner of the so-called epitome of a true FILIPINA, has ESCAPED the incarceration of MARIA CLARA. haha. true enough, she has clearly gotten over board that impression, and has become the total opposite. which, take note, make one person gone mad.. DRUNKEN MAD because of this transition. (hehe FREAK!) however, despite this change, it didn't make her less of a friend... less of that GREATEST friends i have ever had. idealist turned realist (yes, because of the influence of the forementioned, dunno if that's a good sign or otherwise:p). the one who can ultimately listen to whatever. and would even go across to reach you. the person who would remind you to keep the FAITH. faith in whichever aspect.

no word can better describe her than the three letter word that builds the primary unit of a home. MOM. the number one icon of SELFLESSNESS. of a martyr(?).. of the OC.. of the filipino time.. of the nagger. haha. isn't she really the MOM?!:P although, you would have some doubts that she may be a good listener (her mind always floating to somewhere else, either to TV or to another person:P) she still is. really:) in any way you would think that you have no more friends left.. you're definitely wrong. coz you've got one that can never forget (uhm, exceptional in replying to text messages:P).

i love you all. thanks for the ultimate friendship. it has been almost seven years of friendship. of sisterhood. of "late-bloomers-hood". of boy-craziness. let's all cheer to that, with a bottle of vodka cruiser:D *yabang*

[get this widget]

Constantly

I knew it was there
Though I tried to hide it
The feeling just kept on shining through
Haven't know you that long
So I try to deny it
But the feeling was much too much too strong

Could this be love
Deep down inside
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart

Constantly, you're on my mind
Thinking about you all the time
I can't sleep no matter what I do
I just keep on thinking 'bout you

Why do I feel this way
When I know you have someone
That you're seeing each and every day
Should I play this game
Of just being your friend
When I know that's not where I want it to end

How could this be wrong
When the feeling's so strong
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart

No I don't want to start no trouble
Between you and I and your lover
But I must tell you what I'm going through
Everytime you walk by I see love in your eyes

[get this widget]

Things I don't want to admit

1. i lost an argument
2. i am childish (yes, not childlike)
3. there is such thing as "gray area"
4. i am a snob
5. i am totally over with the "past".. NOT!
6. that i have "loved" (from kaykay)

and finally,
that feelings is not a choice. attraction either. that everything is not absolute EVERYTHING. that we are bound with some limits and we cannot encompass the entirety of the universe with one word as E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.

am i beginning to say that now I DO? did i fall again?

[get this widget]

Confession

i have forgotten the day i felt the way i did for the past week. it may seem over-reacting (oh maybe it is), and pure exaggeration, but it is to my deepest regret that i am now a self-confessed sentimental fool, very much attached to everything that is kept close to me (like sucking leech, yeck!), and clingy to my past.

the feeling has been bad. big time.. everything seems to be flashing back. the emotions had been mixed up. it's always that selfish me that pulls me back to embrace the future. it's always the jealous me, with a breaking heart, when i see somebody else has taken place. it's always that pity me that fails to bring herself up and needs a little prodding to move on, bit by bit.

...on my right, i see the clock which tells me that i am late.. when i turn a bit, i see that screen which tells me that, (no, not again), i'm not listening. to my left, i see that board, where the dates have been written, but had never been on time. just right in front of it is that seat that has always been occupied. when i enter the room, it always gives me that warm feeling.. that i am safe in my refuge. a brush in the head that gives me that comfort that i can be the best that i can be.

...when i look back, i have never enjoyed it than yesterday. it is as if the heavens have told me to relish each day. for time may come that you might regret enjoying it, and that the only chance you could take is to imagine at the back of your mind.

oh no. here i go again. i have promised myself that i will not mope about this. excuse my confession.

thanks to all who painted that lovely history to my lifetime.

[get this widget]

S-A-D

ang lungkot ko kahapon. grabe. hay:((

[get this widget]

Jumper - 3EB

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
You could cut ties with all the lies, that you've been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand.
I would understand,
The angry boy, a bit too insane,
Icing over a secret pain,
You know you don't belong,
You're the first to fight, You're way too loud,
You're the flash of light, On a burial shroud,
I know something's wrong,
Well everyone I know has got a reason, To say, put the past away,
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
You could cut ties with all the lies, That you've been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand,
I would understand.
Well he's on the table, And he's gone to code,
And I do not think anyone knows,
What they are doing here,
And your friends have left, You've been dismissed,
I never thought it would come to this, And I, I want you to know,
Everyone's got to face down the demons,
Maybe today, We can put the past away,
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
You could cut ties with all the lies, that you've been living in,
And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand,
I would understand,
I would understand...
Can you put the past away, I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend,
I would understand...

[get this widget]

I don't want to be - Gavin DeGraw

I don't need to be anything other
Than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other
Than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anything other
Than the birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one who noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned
I don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
Can I have everyone's attention please?
If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain
The crust of creation
My whole situtaion-made from clay to stone
And now I'm telling everybody
I don't want to be
Anything other that what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be

p.s. sa june06 pa ang official one year celebration ko;)

[get this widget]

Milestone

Ang bilis talaga ng panahon. Naalala ko pa, one year ago. Mga ganitong panahon, nasa school na kami. Buong araw, umaga hanggang gabi. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. Bahay na namin yun. Nagpunta na ko kung san san. Sa Carriedo kung san mo makita yung mga "porn" videos na binebenta sa kalye. First time ko yun nakita (salamat kay estre. bwahaha). Ang sumakay sa LRT. Ang pumunta ng FEU. Kumain sa Yellow Cab sa kung san san (Morayta, Harisson, Makati Ave, Glorietta, yung malapit sa mega. yung malapit sa tomas morato, di ko na maalala yung iba). Kumain ng kung ano anong pagkain sa Taft Tower (namiss ko na yung ERSAO) at sa Agno (ang siomai at ang tapsilog!!). Matulog sa classroom. Tumambay sa hallway. Maglaro ng scrabout. Kumanta ng vindicated. at ng yeah whatever. Maglokohan pag walang magawa. Hay. Ang bilis. Hanggang sa makatapos din kami. Kahit magulo. Kahit umiyak pa ako. Kahit nagalit pa ako. Kahit nainis pa ako. Kahit na kinawawa na ako ng mga loko-lokong GBE. Okay lang. Masaya naman eh, diba? Parte yun ng buhay. Pinakamasasayang araw ko yun. Isama ko na ang buong 4th yr talaga. Hehehe. Nakahinga na ng maluwag. Grabe, naalala ko, dati pinagdadasal ko matapos na kami don sa phase na yun.....

Tapos makamove-on na. Makapag-simula ng bagong buhay. As in magbagong buhay. Tapos yun, napunta ako somewhere na sinabi ko na AYOKO! Hay grabe. Di ko inakala. Pero di ko naman sinabi na ayoko talaga as in super. Well, ang ayaw ko lang naman eh yung lugar. Dun na naman. Tapos ^*@#$! walang kamatayang traffic. Bwiset. Oh well, Wala naman na rin akong choice. Opportunity. And that was EIGHT MONTHS AGO. Grabe, I can't believe I've stayed this long. And made friends. And had petty fights. And had a bunch of lunchouts (and counting!). And populated my MSN contacts with people from all over the world. (I need GOLD!:P) And saved a bit. And re-connected my life with few friends i've lost. And have made myself the person I can't say have grown, but gained a lot. And learned alot. In all aspects in life. Hay ang drama. It is all but the bittersweet dilemma of staying here. There's always the good and the bad. They never go away. They're part of it. They're all relative.

Tagal ko na di naka-blog, sabi ko magb-blog ako sa first year ko. Hehehe. Milestone talaga ito. One year na blog ko. Eight months na kami (bwahaha), tapos na ang training namin. Ma-mi-miss ko si leo. (Pigilan nyo ko baka maiyak ako!!!) May closing pa talaga. Grabe. Baka lalo akong maiyak. 24/7 na ako. Hay grabe na talaga. Ayoko pa. Sabi ko sana bumilis ang panahon. Pero ngayon na napansin mo na tumakbo, gusto mo na tumigil.

Afterall, happiness is a matter of choice. EVERYTHING is.

[get this widget]

WordPlay - Jason Mraz

I've been all around the world
I've been a new sensation
But it doesn't really matter
In this generation
The sophomore slump is an uphill battle
And someone said that in my scene
'Cause they need a new song
Like a new religion
Music for the television
I can't do the long division
Someone do the math
For the record label puts me on the shelf up in the freezer
Got to find another way to live the life of leisure
So I drop my top
Mix and I mingle
Is everybody ready for the single and it goes...

Ha La La La La
Now listen closer to the verse I lay
(Ha La La La La)
It's all about the wordplay
(Ha La La La Love)
The wonderful thing it does
Because, because
I am the wizard of ooh's and ah's and fa-la-la's
Yeah the Mister A-Z
They say I'm all about the wordplay

And it's time to get ill I got your remedy
For those who don't remember me
Well let me introduce you to my style
I try to keep a jumble
And the lyrics never mumble
When the music's makin' people tongue-tied
You want a new song
Like a new religion
Music for the television
I can't do the long division
Someone do the math
For the poeple write me off like I'm a one-hit wonder
Got to find another way to keep from goin' under
Pull out the stops
Got your attention
I guess it's time again for me to mention
The wordplay

I built a bridge across the stream of consciousness
It always seems to be a flowin'
But I don't which way my brain is goin'
Oh the ryhmin' and the timin'
Keeps the melodies inside me
And they're comin'
Til I'm running out of air
Are you prepared to take a dive into the deep end of my head
Are you listening to a single word I've said

Ha La La La La
Listen closer to the words I say
Ha La La La La
We're sticken' to the wordplay
Ha La La La Love
The wonderful thing it does
Because, because
I am the wizard of ooh's and ah's and fa-la-la's
Yeah the Mister A-Z
They say I'm all about the wordplay

Ha La La La La
I'm all about the wordplay
Ha La La La La
Stickin' with the wordplay
Ha La La La Love
I love the wonderful thing it does
Because, because
The ooh's and ah's and fa-la-la's fall back in love
For the Mister A-Z they say
Is all about the wordplay

[get this widget]

AdiK

isa kang adik sa isang bagay kung:
1. hindi ka makapali kapag wala sya sa tabi mo
2. gagawin mo lahat makuha lang yun. as in lahat
3. literally, para kang nanginginig. hindi mo talaga kaya ng wala
4. pathetic ka. ginawa mo nang basehan yun ng pagkatao mo.
5. ang bigat ng feeling mo pag wala kang magawa para makuha yung gusto mo
6. nagco-complain ka the whole day sa mga tao, kung kani-kanino
7. sinisisi mo sarili mo sa mga ginawa mo kaya mo di makuha
8. iniisip mo, kahit isang araw pa lang wala sayo, feel mo buong buhay mo wala na talaga
9. baliw ka na! nag-morph ka. di na ikaw ang totoong sarili mo!

nakakadiri maging adik. kahit gano ka-simple kina-a-adik-an mo. masama. tsk tsk tsk... magdasal ka na lang para ma-get over mo. isipin mo nalang may rason kung bakit di mo na dapat makuha ang mga gusto mo.

hay Lord tulungan mo sila.

[get this widget]

Paparazzi #004: Closing Time

Closing time - time for you to go out, go out into the world.
Closing time - turn the lights up over every boy and every girl.
Closing time - one last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer.
Closing time - you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

Closing time - time for you to go back to the places you will be from.
Closing time - this room won't be open 'til your brothers or you sisters
come.
So gather up your jackets, and move it to the exits - I hope you have found
a
friend.
Closing time - every new beginning comes from some other beginning'send.

Yeah, I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

Closing time - time for you to go back to the places you will be from...

I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
I know who I want to take me home.
Take me home...

Closing time - every new beginning comes from some other beginning'send...

[get this widget]

Relasyon

Iniisip ko na kung anong iniisip nya.
Natatakot ako pag may nasabi akong iba.
Natutuwa ako pag napapangiti ko sya.
Pakiramdam ko, ang galing ko talaga.
Kelangan kong gawin mga sinasabi nya.
Pag hindi, eto ko namomroblema.
Lahat ng ginagawa ko, dapat pabor sa kanya.
Kung hindi, eto ko sisihin ko sarili ko na mali na naman ako.
Perfectionist daw ako, pero sa tingin ko may kulang lang talaga.
Naiinis ako pag hindi ko nabibigay ng tama.
Ako na naman mali.
Hindi ko lang talaga siguro kaya.
Bibigay na ako.
Ayoko na.
Aalis na ako!
Wag, nasa isang relasyon ka.
Wag mong takasan. Tapusin mo.
Gawin mo ang dapat.
Hindi lahat ng gusto mo tama.
Pero di lang din naman ng kala mo tama, makakabuti.
Hay nako ang gulo talaga ng mundo.
Pero kelangang magsaya.
Pwede naman, diba?

Sabi nga nila, mahalin mo trabaho mo. Wag ang kumpanya. Hahaha. :P

[get this widget]

Overshadowed

Waiting for the star to fall... to come granting my wish.
Please please please, a heartful of pleas.
Ease this wounded soul, this broken heart.

+=+=+=+
How could one ever know how to do the right thing?

IMY.

[get this widget]

MT

Officially the "steady" state is over.

I am now in phase of THE GREAT DEPRESSION.

Spare me. Will you?

[get this widget]

Agimat

indeed, a noble life he led.

a tribute to a man whom i believe to be the greatest for me to know. in my lifetime. even if it would mean knowing him barely for 21 years. but seemingly, i've known his entirety for days, i can even use my hands for counting.

I cannot even draw together the words that would, at the very least, to give justice and put into prose the life he had for barely a century of living. Loving spouse. Eleven children. Hero to be called. There's so much with this man that I have to say I never fathomed to be the life that he led. He gave me more reasons to give importance to life (in general) to raising a HUGE family (11 children, with 9 in-laws, 27 grandchildren, and 3 grand-grand children), to living a noble life (which does not mean being a hero in the flesh. but doing simple things that truly express nobilty with a noble heart), to fighting not only against man, but against death during wars of the world, to leading, being highly-respected and making a mark to his community.

at the last breath, selfless he was... until the end. open arms, he accepted the new life he would live with HIM.

as i stared for two days beside him, it made me put that mark that i would be as loving as he was. that i will also find that man that he would be just as him. i have raised the mark to living life more than seizing the day. i have never felt that much pride in myself than that day. amidst the tears that seemed to have never ceased to flow, is a proud heart we bore, is bearing, and will always be, that we have come to know this man.

i heard gunshots. at the strike of 12, covered with a blanket of a nationalistic banner, he was laid to rest. in peace. through eternity.

we love you and will always be remembered.

[get this widget]

Paparazzi # 003: A View from the Top

The busy streets. The tiring strides. I am here.. At the top.

[get this widget]

Thanks

Thanks to the trips of kay, the box of sand from mark, the portraits of her soul - lheng, and to anna for making me love fridays even more... For keeping me in touch with their lives even if it will take a miracle for us to see each other as often as we did six months ago.

Lheng: 3 weeks will just spin off without you knowing. Hehe. Doze yourself to sleep.
Anna: Don't think that it's his lost. You didn't lose anything.:P
Kay: Bru! It's always been good hearing from you that you're doing great. Enjoy the life! Cheers!
Mark: To movies and heartaches and points of view in life. You've never changed. More so being in-touched with your "feelings". Still that same ol' designated-sensitive male.

I miss you all. Take care always. *HUGS*

[get this widget]

A brief come back

Sumptuous dinner.
Whooping hoax of 100mbps.
Sleepy head.
Meet old friends.
Still aching from sun burn and slight tan.
Stuffed with lunch outs with 'bosses' (deprived of desert! haha) and tomorrow again!
Pony tailed hair after eight years.
Awaiting to have braces-free fangs and incisors in not more than 3 weeks.
Oh yes,
I'm back.

[get this widget]

BIG SPLAT! for rotten tomatoes

oh yes i'm still alive.

i have to admit that i did miss it. this. you. me. but it was resonating that life has been unbelievably, indifferent. apathetic. unresponsive. oh yes, i'm shifting-F7 now. so what? there are no better words to fully express L.I.F.E for the half-year. by the way, congratulations for the momentous event -- to regularize yourself from your 3rd "second home" (hehe, did you get it?). but of course, it would not refuse to give credit for some happy moments spent here. of course there still are. there are many actually. however, to be deprived from watching the series of tv shows from star world (you still have to get 8 hrs of sleep, or else it would not only be a bad hairday! it will be a total mess!)

yes, at 7pm i can leave. and it is just now. good:)

LATER.

[get this widget]

Paparazzi #002: A Walk in the Clouds

Fly away.

[get this widget]

Paparazzi #001: Ped Xing

Wish I could cross all challenges in life. Wish I could cross through all my hopes. All I need is a Leap of Faith.

[get this widget]

March 5 2005

thanks Kay for that remarkable post. you have given justice to every person present in that occasion:) hehe.

to Mark: as if you have never been used to my trash talkings. you've always been that sensitive-male that you are. harharhar. and it's always the devilish me who pushes you to step on that accelerator even harder to give that squeaking sound from your tires (with a bit of smoke. hehe) and the resounding throbbing of our hearts. hehe. but it's always the best rides (hihihi. making it up to you:P) coz i wouldn't be part of all the trips that we have if it weren't for you. even if i have completed B-I-N-G-O (and not the whole alphabet lheng!), i owe it all to you:P cheers and more driving adventures. hehe!

it was as if you never want to go back. the smell of the Tagaytay breeze seemed to consume you and resonate a heavenly feeling as if you have been devoid from all the stress in life. peace and comfort. the freshness of the green grass and the pine trees have lifted me to serenity. relaxed and relieved.

3 B's. Basketball, badminton, bowling.
4 Drivers + 1. All of them were racing around (unconsciously? or involuntarily? or should i say normally?!). with one bully on the passenger seat:P
1 Place. Canyon Woods.
1 Winner. Accenture+OOCL.;) [i feel proud of us, haha. kay den lincoln dj she. did the frustration for the entire two years just reflected?]
1 Day. with a whole bunch of "activities" (without even following my itinerary! harharhar!) which ended up so soon (but thankful for the hitch to call wrap up the day).

hoping, that one day will not be the last.:P i'll see you guys around:)

xxxxx.
All men can sweep a woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom.
Life is not about how many breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away.
xxxxx.

[get this widget]

post 14th sentiments

can you honestly say you feel complete? what completes you? who will? when will you? how will you be?

===
in twenty-one years of living, it will be out of hypocrisy to say that we don't need any intimate relationship with that "someone". in time, we will realize we need that other half who will provide us with the emotional and physical affection from an earthly being. even if we say we are complete alone, there is still that longing to be together and share that completeness with the one you, quote unquote, LOVE.

===
solitary resounds as a totally out-putting image for me. dreadfully as i can imagine, being alone never cease to haunt me -- that the thought of waking up alone scares me even more that of a monstrous nightmare. i want to embrace the idea that being alone does not necessarily mean being lonely. but when i look farther from today, i cannot fight the feeling of being scared that i will only be with myself for the rest of my life. it is not a question of my capability of being independent, but it is more of being more than complete.. to be able to share that completeness with that special person, together.

===
LOVE. it will never cease. it will always be there, in our hearts. abstract it may seem, it is tangible. unseen but it is existing. a bitter satire at times, but the sweetest irony of happiness behind the tears. love makes us complete. but we must love ourselves first to proclaim ourselves that we are whole.

===
will always be loved. no matter how distant or even close. even if with no return. even if doubtful. even if skeptical. even if it came short. even if you left. even if you made me cry. even if it was too long ago. even if you gave up. even if it hurt. even if forgotten. even if i want to forget. even if it was just an illusion. even if near yet so far. even if you don't know. even if we never told. even if you never told. even if i only did. even if i thought you did. even if i waited long. even if i am still waiting. even if it's hard. even if it's gone. i still do even if it's odd. but the irony is that love has always been odd to be even.

[get this widget]

Surprise! Surprise!

oh how i love them!:)

this post has been a day delayed, but the surprise factor is still fresh. hehe. no biggie, but i was touched with the "boys" gesture. i never thought that men are still capable of doing such thoughtful move. haha. i have underestimated. hihihi.

anyway, i just would like to give thanks to the newbies-boys (carlo, dj, jegs, mio, pong, rage) for making me put that "taray" stint on me (for one minute -- putting that lousy excuse of having me volunteered as the leader of the outreach program sponsored by the office! grrrrr!) and making me realize i blushed in humiliation because i was then faced with two red roses and kisses chocolates in between my yakking. waaaaahhh.. hehe. i felt awfully shameful of my tactlessness, and my unsolicited-demanding-attitude of keeping my precious time on my hands. haha. i was 45% humiliated, 25% surprised and 20% thankful.

oh well. i do love surprises. no matter how small. how simple. the shallowness of my happiness.

apologies and many thanks:)

[get this widget]

Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch - The Temptations

Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch
You know that I love you
I can't help myself
I love you and nobody else

In and out my life(in and out my life)
You come and you go(you come and you go)
Leaving just your picture behind....(ooh)
And I've kissed it a thousand times(ooh)
When you snap your finger, or wink you eye,
I come a-running to you
I'm tied to your apron strings,
And there's nothing that I can do

I can't help myself,
No, I can't help myself,

'Cause, Sugar Pie Honey Bunch
I'm weaker than a man should be
I can't help myself
I'm a fool in love 'ya see

Wanna tell you I don't love you,
Tell you that we're through
And I try....
But ev'ry time I see your face,
I get all choked up inside
When I call your name,
Girl, it starts to flame
Burning in my heart,
Tearing it all apart..
No matter how I try
My love I cannot hide....

'Cause Sugar Pie Honey Bunch
You know that I'm waiting for you(waiting for you)
I can't help myself
I love you and nobody else

Sugar Pie Honey Bunch
I'd do anything you ask me to(ask me to)
I can't help myself
I want you and nobody else

Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch
You know that I love you(I dooo)
I can't help myself...
No... I can't help myself

[get this widget]

BS

shit happens. and when they do, you don't want to get yourself into that pit of bull crap, do you? so-- to revive yourself from that quicksand that (in the irony of swallowing you slowly) you should:
1) not struggle. because it will devour you even more.
2) focus. keep yourself to that thought that you MUST GET OUT.
3) not quit. you have to get out of that pit, but escape doesn't mean the rightest thing to do.
4) accept. it happened. there's always a divine reason for it.
5) think positive. if things really don't turn out right, look beyond the circumstance and view it on a positive light.
6) work on it. do something! and plan ahead to keep you away from BS.

and lastly, SMILE. though your heart is breaking, even though it's aching. when there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by...

"happiness is a matter of choice. everything is."

[get this widget]

Just Got Lucky

"oh it's nothing. i just got lucky..."

when was the time you ever felt you were so damn lucky??

why do people say that it's a matter of LUCK to have been where they are now. or have achieved something remarkable. or have been who they have become... got wealthy (and i mean overwhelmingly FILTHY rich). won something(erm.. except elections. it's something else. either it's magic or.. or..?) got the gold. been first place. is it false humility? or people can just accept the fact that they have acquired them, since they don't EVEN know when, where, why and how?

to where are we indebted of the great things that come to us? to luck? to destiny? or is it just ultimately our fateful path?

Or should i ask to Whom do owe all this glory?

Give thanks to Almighty.


[get this widget]

Shall We Dance?

I don't dance
So do you
But we came across
Dancing out of tune
You had to dance
With someone else
And so did I
You swayed with her
I did with him
But there was longing
That we could've been
On that night
When we had to dance
We ended up
Having that chance
Under the moonlight
You took my hand
I looked into your eye
With a tinge of fright
We took the first step
And flew with the music
Twisted and turned
With your hand across my body
The song was winding down
We are still holding each others hand
My heart was yearning
To keep you closer till dawn
But as the last note was played
We have to let go
The night was the same
As if we never danced at all


[get this widget]

Suntok sa Buwan - Session Road

Hindi mo ba alam
Ang dami kong pinagtakpan?
Pag kasama ka'y
Suntok sa buwan
Hindi mo nga alam
Mundo mo nga iyong tignan
Wag kang ganyan
Walang pupuntahan
Di ko to gusto
Kaya wag kang lalayo

Itanong mo sa akin, tatanungin ko rin
Kung ika'y aamin, lahat ay gagawin
Itanong mo sa akin, tatanungin ko rin
Kung ika'y aamin
Lahat ay gagawin

Hindi mo napapansin
Kailangan mo akong dinggin
Hindi habang buhay, ika'y aantayin
Ito'y akoing hiling
Kaya sana naman at tanggapin
Ng puso ko'y di nabibitin
Di ko ito gusto
Kaya wg kang lalayo

Itanong mo sa akin, tatanungin ko rin
Kung ika'y aamin, lahat ay gagawin
Itanong mo sa akin, tatanungin ko rin
Kung ika'y aamin lahat ay gagawin
Kung ika'y aamin
Lahat ay gagawin


[get this widget]

Reverting last post

this blog is not closing. i meant another form of closure.

i am already nearing 100 posts... with two unfinished businesses:P drafts.

and i don't have to have any romantic experience to have a post for this month. (even if i do, not a sole reason).

so i should've deleted the previous. everything was a total ERRATUM. oh, except for one-- the verdict for 10 splats of rotten tomatoes.


[get this widget]

Awaiting for Closure

second blog. ninth month. 80++th post. and it's february.

10 splats of rotten tomatoes for a blog that cannot be updated even with a single line of thought.

or does it only mean that it's the time of the month that i am completely devoid from any associated valentine experience to share?


[get this widget]

Welcome!

finally she has come out.

welcome to the family, Julia Angela.

be good, girl:P


[get this widget]

Observation

tell me if i'm correct.

if not, excuse my scrutiny.

physically blessed females end up with the not-so-good-looking males more often, than the good-looking-men ending up with the not-so-pretty girls.

is it because that men are more into "physical" aspects than women? or it's just because men get to choose the girls that they court? and women are only donned with the right to select from whoever asks?


[get this widget]

Nice Read.

After a long time, finally i got to finish reading The Wedding. Never did it slip into my mind that it will have an ending as such. it was great. i love it. i could be happy with a man like Wilson. of course including the Wilson at the end.

so much about love. i always have this knack for reading love stories, but i can never seem to have my own. *augh*

hehe. it always feels great to read happy endings. feels like i came right into that picture. and i end up happily ever after. for now, i am contented at that:)


[get this widget]

Three Things

Three names you go by: kaye kayers kaypah

Three screen names you have had: hunnystars wshngstr bluetoothfairy

Three things you like about yourself: i love my family, i make friends easily, i can fully express myself

Three things you don't like about yourself: i am fond of complaining, i am a scaredy-cat, i am a pessimist

Three parts of your heritage: family oriented, birthday parties and TARDINESS

Three things that scare you: losing people, being unhappy, being alone

Three of your everyday essentials: phone, wallet, PC (syempre)

Three of your favorite bands (or artists) at the moment: Alicia Keys, Bamboo, Jet

Three of your favorite songs at present: Karma, Hush, Hold On

Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months: finish reading a book in a week (or probably a month), don't get LATE, learn how to drive

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given): openness, communication, time

Three physical things about the opposite sex (or same) that appeal to you: smile, get up, nails:P

Three things you just can't do *or hardly*: write well, gain weight, GET UP EARLY

Three of your favorite hobbies: read. watch teleserye. listen to music (and sing with it. hehe bidjoke!)

Three things you want to do badly right now: buy new shoes! gain weight! sleep early!

Three careers you're considering: IT (where i'm into right now). business. marketing.

Three places you want to go on vacation: Beach (local). Europe. US.

Three things you want to do before you die: have a family. get rich. travel around the world.


[get this widget]

Kasama Ka.

Sana'y masabi
Sa awit kong ito
Lahat ng ninanais
Nitong puso ko
Sana saan man
Patungo sa buhay
May pag-ibig, may pag-asa
May saya at saysay
Sana sa bawat sandali'y
Matikman pa
Sarap ng pagsasama
At simpleng ligaya
Tara na, sakyan lang
Malay mo
Nandyan lang, nandyan lang
Ang hinahanap mo.

--Coca Cola


[get this widget]

Complacent

adj. contented; self-satisfied and unconcerned

i have been out last night and came to meet a few friends. we had dinner as usual (which always takes forever to decide where. at least almost all were in time. Thank God for that!) and never came around watching a movie.. opt to have a chat instead. they always had the knack for drinking and "one time big time" while talking about life, in general. more often than not, the bitterness of it.

she had a share of her own, i cannot think of mine, the other either. then this friend of mine came bursting out so much bitterness. i cannot collect everything that he has been uttering. it whacked me, big time! i cannot accept the fact that someone close to us has been recalling life to be so awful and full of pain.

bottomline of this saddenning argument is that he chose to be complacent. of course there is nothing wrong with being just that. but the thing is, he is doing NOTHING. and thinking that EVERYTHING is totally delusional, tires you from HOPING for a better outlook in life.. he's saying that since man creates his own emotions, and that they are all based from imagination, di na lang sya mag-iisip ng magagandang bagay. it is like saying that you create your own misery. sabi nya, nagho-hope ka ng magagandang bagay to come to your life, but at the end of the day you really don't get what you want.. and you realize even further that everything is a variable and nothing really lasts forever. so true. pero ang dating eh, so ikaw rin may kasalanan pala. wag ka nalang mag isip. ikaw lang din ang gumawa ng problema mo. DAMN! anong klaseng pag-iisip yan? totoo ba yan? being complacent doesn't just mean satisfaction and just absorbing what is present. que sera sera. i mean DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! if you don't get what you want, strive hard to achieve it! steady lang? stagnation yan eh! walang growth. at isipin pa isang taon ka palang na mamamatay ka rin in the end? gawd. what a painful way to view life. sabi ko nga HALF EMPTY. pero di rin nga eh, EMPTY talaga.

di ko maisip talaga, di ko matanggap. di ko ma-explain. his thoughts were "argumentative" to his own, even conflicting what he just said. again, i can't believe that there would be someone EVEN more impossible than this someone i know, thinking about LIFE in a totally negative way. may tatalo pa pala sa kanya. baaaakiiiit???

as i walked inside my room (thank God, someone opened the door for me:)) i came to think about the way i view life. and even if i don't get what i want, and even if i have moments of bitterness, it isn't so resentful at all that to have a better life is cynical. for twenty-one years that is, it wasn't so bad after all, and that i am not yet tired of living it the way it is. ENJOY the moment. at times when you're feeling sulky, there's always, always, always the LIGHT at the end of the tunnel. and if you choose to make your own emotions, never put yourself down that you will always feel deprived of the things that you hope for. if you don't achieve it, strive harder. quoting Paulo Coelho, the entire universe will conspire to help you achieve it.

stil, CARPE DIEM. seize the day. live life to the fullest.


[get this widget]

--

wala lang. wala akong masabi pero naisipan kong magpost.

parang may na-realize ako. na mas maganda kung may sistema ang buhay. hehe. parang ayoko yata ng buhay na di ko alam kung san ako pupunta. kelangan ko na mag-isip ng matinong patutunguhan.

naisip ko rin pala na maigsi lang ang buhay. kahit na di natin alam kung hanggang kelan lang, kelangan lang talaga mag-enjoy.

learn from the past. relish the moment. plan for the future.

--
naisip ko minsan na walang "connection" ang present sa future. i mean, hindi lahat ng ginagawa natin ngayon eh may kinalaman sa magiging future natin. parang every day is a new day and they do not collectively define the future. matagal ko nang iniisip kung pano ko ito ie-explain eh. pero di ko pa rin kaya.

labo noh. pero basta ganon. may naalala akong prof na nagsabi nyan eh. nakalimutan ko na.


[get this widget]

Iba

hay. bagong taon na.. panahon na para mapagnilay-nilayan ang aking buhay. hehe. nagbusy-busy-han daw ako. hehe. but true, ironically, the strip of two weeks of the holiday season has been the "busiest" days of my work for the year (for three months, that is:P). anyway enough of the excuses, i'm "drilling" down the past twelve months.. and what have been.

i cannot remember the nitty-gritty details of twenty-O-four. but the end of the year came into a big realization that A LOT OF THINGS HAVE CHANGED. year-ender word. DIFFERENT..

for one, this is the first new year's eve i've experienced na UMUULAN. naalala ko siguro ambon lang. pero ngayon, ulan talaga. pero di tumigil ang putukan. baka samin lang. hehe. pero it's weird. sa street namin, parang kami lang ang nagpaputok. the house adjacent us didn't get out for the new year's eve. samantalang kami na nga lang yung mga natitirang bahay na nagsasaya sa paputok at nagpapa-picture sa harap ng fountain at trompillo. wala na ring masyadong tao pumupunta sa bahay namin for both christmas and new year's eve. the dinner table has always been full for the banquet. ISA PA, WALA KAMING TV NUNG NEW YEAR'S EVE! NAPUTUKAN!!! badtrip.

by the end of this year, umabot na sa 16.25 ang pamasahe mo ko sa tricycle pauwi at 6.50 naman palabas. 30 pesos ang bus papunta pauwi. 5.50 naman ang jeep. my gulay. kung kelan naman ako nagkatrabaho saka naman nagmahal ang mga presyo. dammit.

we had a new fashion of our home. it was great to have a "real" interior designer (unlike US, who were PRETENDING) to re-decorate and re-arrange the look. we have never realized na may pag-asa pa palang umayos itong bahay na ito. for more than two decades with unknown number of rearrangements, we never had that idea na maging ganito yung ayos ng bahay namin. hahaha.

my lifestyle has changed. maybe because i have work. i cannot stay up too late coz i get really bad migraine. i sleep before 10pm. i wake up before 6am. i've outgrown going up on late-night gimmicks. i'd wish we could just chill out, dinner maybe, and a few minutes for coffee and then off to home. or maybe a lunch out and then a movie perhaps. i don't want telling my parents that i'll be off to a gimik and stay as late as i could... PASAWAY as i was nung college. i'm such a lola. however, i still cannot drink a bottle of san mig light.

my friends have changed too. maybe it's really time to "grow up" and do the things that "Grown Ups" do. to be matured that is. and try the things we haven't done for the past 5 years we've been together. but they cannot blame me for doing otherwise. it doesn't express my immaturity, it is a personal choice. or maybe i'm still immature and "innocent" that is. but i just don't want to involve myself into such. i am just glad that they are the people who will teach me how to do things. on the right time when i am willing to have a bottle of strong ice. and teach me the things i could only learn from the experts. hehe.

CHANGE has constantly reminded me that life has to be DIFFERENT. difference brings forth meaning into my existence. more often than not, i view change not on a positive light, but with a tinge of doubt and a question of why. however, i must realize that stagnation and permanence do not provide the kind of fruitful living. continuous quest for growth, learning and unpaid experiences compensate the moments of grief, depression, repression to be able to achieve the license for a more significant way of living. be open.

IDEALISM has yet to be knocked out of my senses. REALITY must kick in.

--as always, i have forever felt that i never made sense with any uttered words. that's not a change. i'm still in sluggish motion in keeping this blog filled with essence.

[get this widget]