From Bom:)

i am leeching this from my one of my dearest friends, bom. :) i found myself amazed that i have the same feeling for different people. strangely, i feel that we are talking about the same person... (which of course, is impossibly true, hehe!). thanks bom for this. i am letting my sentiments out for them unknowingly. i have alot of people i want to say something, but this might be overkill. hehehe. the list might go on and on.. and on.. and on.. and on........

RULES:
1. Write something about/for fifteen DIFFERENT people.
2. You can NOT (read: NEVER) say who they are.
3. If someone asks you which one is about/for them, you are NOT to tell.

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1. I really admire you for your guts. To where you've been and have achieved. I wish I can reach the same success as you have now. In all aspects.
2. Sana nagkakilala tayo ng mas maaga. Hay:( and Hay:)
3. Sana may gift ka na talaga sa birthday ko:P
4. Di ko talaga alam kung bakit, pero di talaga kita kaya kausapin ng matagal. Ewan ko talaga. I just feel indifferent towards you.
5. Hehe, despite what I have been through with you (or you with me), I am glad that we are really in good terms. I am happy that I can tell you anything about everything right now;)
6. Sayang lahat ng pinagsamahan. Na-miss kita. Pero ganon ata talaga. I wish I could see you and give you a hug.
7. Di ko alam bakit naging ganon lahat, pero sorry, di ko na gusto na maging super ok tayo. Wala na talagang chance mabalik sa dati.
8. I know you're just right there whenever I need you kahit na nde tayo magkita at matagal na nde mag-usap:)
9. Gusto ko ma-try na lumabas na tayo lang.
10. I know things have changed now, and ok na ako. Hehe weird pero di kita nami-miss:P
11. Gusto ko na sabihin sayo kung ano totoo, pero pag sinabi ko, baka madaming magbago.
12. Takot ako sayo. Dahil sa maraming bagay.. Lalo ngayon. Hay :S
13. Alam mo na ayaw ako sinisigawan, ginagawa mo pa din!
14. You're giving me the strangest feeling I've never felt in my entire life. Go figure.
15. Sorry sa lahat ng masamang nagawa ko sayo. I know what I did was totally wrong, and I do not have any excuse for being just that. I never really got around saying sorry, but I am. Really.

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no masochist for nothing

i am emotionally wrecked this week. i cannot further elaborate on the nitty-gritty details, but i am on an indefinite sanity with an imbalanced state of mind.

i can barely recall the last time i shed tears. however, those tears have flowed in ducts that sore a fortnight, were tears of sadness. now, i shed tears of incomprehensible disbelief, of betrayal, of being hopeful for nothing, of deprivation to that chance i thought will compensate for waiting. i was given false hopes. i may be wrong for assuming, but i will never have assumed if i have never been told. i am hurt not because i was defeated of a chance, but i am hurt because i knew that i was not given what i deserved. that i did not receive what i knew, with all my heart, i knew was for me.

my heart has been amassed with spears of doubt and fear. daggering to every nerve, seemingly making me numb. i am frightened that i may fall into a trap that i cannot escape. only finding myself slowly being devoured into what seemed to be a quicksand.. struggling for survival. i do not know when to stop. i do not know if it's even starting. i am beginning to think that there must be something wrong. but i beg myself to differ. talk about self-contradictory madness. i am still trying to convince myself that there is nothing wrong. i am hopeful that i can still bear with it. that i will not give up until the limit has been pushed.

i am mad. crazy. depressed. puzzled. hurt. deprived. hurt. scared. unnoticed. torn. hurt. then again, i am no masochist for nothing.

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FT

i miss you for so long, that i almost forgot how you looked. i have gotten the chance to get back to you. a glance maybe. i had that chance to rekindle the moments we had together, but it was quite too short. i missed you. and seeing you that time has made me feel that i'll always have you. my friend.

as we held hands and bid farewell, barely touching my fingers to yours.. lingered for as long as i can remember.. my heart was breaking that i know it will take more time for me to see you again.. yet rejoicing that i know we will still, in the not so far future.


i was told that the sites to where our refuge of emotional baggages reside has been blocked. well, i hadn't noticed since i was too "busy" keeping myself "busy" these days. i am mixed up with stuff that i cannot seem to keep myself in order. hehehe.

i do not have anything much to say now but i just wanted to revisit my spot. i miss this spot. it has been abandoned for so long a time that i cannot even recall the times that i wanted moments to be written. or those that i wanted to be shared. or those that i just wanted to type it away.

i miss you. i miss this. i miss talking to you for as long as i can. for being there, listening (erm, reading, or whatever you may call it) for all my yakkings. you know much of what others don't. most of the time you are the first to know. and you never forget, because it is and will always be written. i miss this, with my fingers strike the keys as i free-flowingly tell you the details of my story. i miss you. it is you.. my recourse to all emotions. this is you. i do not know for how long i can let it happen, but i know that i will always have you, and you will always have me.

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830pm

i cannot remember the last time i've watched deal or no deal. hehehe. which means, that it has been ages since i last got home that early. lahat sila nagtataka, ang aga ko daw dumating. pwede naman pala eh. bakit nga ba hindi?

touch down, 830pm. what a record. this is the earliest i've gone home since the start of the year. 12th day of the 2nd half of 2007. whew.

i got to watch DOND. i got to read 2 chapters of harry potter (the last two to go!). i got to blog! and i got goodnight kisses from the cute gremlins in spongebob pajamas. awwwwwww:">

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walang tawiran. nakamamatay.

i am sharing this entry with my friend, tobe. we swore that this will be the last time that we will take chance of risking our lives crossing that "street".

so why did the chicken crossed the road?

minsan sa buhay natin, kelangan sumugal. sabi nga nila take chances. opportunity only comes once. eh minsan hindi mo alam kung yung oportunidad na yun eh dumaan na, padaan palang. or andyan na. kung pang-ilan.. kung una.. pangalawa.. pangatlo. kailan mo nga ba malalaman na eto na ang tamang panahon para tumaya sa lotto at makuha ng jackpot.

malamang sa hindi, walang nakakaalam. tyans (hehe, chance) nga e. tanong natin kay google kung ano daw ang tyans.

according to my ever reliable world-wide-web partner in life:
- a risk involving danger
- an unknown and unpredictable phenomenon that causes an event to result one way rather than another

it is unpredictable. and a risk. so, FORTUNE FAVORS for the BRAVE SOULS!

so yun. makukulit lang talaga kami na ulit-ulitin ang pagtatangkang makamit ang aming mithiin. ang makasakay ng shuttle sa may Mall of Asia. pumunta kami ng 10pm, 930pm 9pm, 8pm. wala pa ring tumambad na sasakyan na maghahatid samin papunta sa katimugang bahagi ng Maynila. hanggang sa napagod na kami, at napag-isipang, hindi na kami uulit.

bahagya kong naisipan ang malaking signboard na nakapaskil sa gitna ng two-way-four-laned street. WALANG TAWIRAN. NAKAMAMATAY. kung ako yung nasa bus, maasar ako sa mga taong tumatawid. kitang-kita na nga. binalaan ka na nga. KAMATAYAN na nga ang threat , tigas pa din ng ulo mo. balak mo nga lang talaga siguro magpakamatay ano?

we broke the law. risked our lives. took that chance. admittedly, we have become irresponsible citizens, being the pasaway that we were. there's no excuse to what we've done. we've broken the rules. i'm not the goody-two-shoes kind, and i won't clean my hands either. a crime is a crime. but then again, i realized that a chance gives you that possibility of a yes or a no. 1 or 0. black or white. slightly, there's that maybe. you'll never know what you're gonna get. but then, there's just a time, when you try to STOP and think rationally that it is not always taking chance. not at this point that we risk LIFE.

so yun, we ended up swearing to ourselves that we won't ever travel MOA by public transportation. oh, how i love makati. this is just the place to be.

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