GA SE03 EP21 - Desire

too often the thing you want most, is the one thing you can't have.

desire leaves us heartbroken. it wears us out. desire can wreck your life.

but it's tough as wanting something can be. the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want.

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i hate math!!

when i was in kinder, i was 1st place in math contest. the picture is very much with me still, having miko (my highschool friend, well since elementary days [classmates gr3 - gr5, all hs yrs except 2nd yr], but let me start counting on 3rd yr... so 9 years to date) stand by the 2nd place box (with his khaki shorts unzipped:P). i can still clearly remember that i was left alone, having all contestants been kicked off the contest hall. hehehe. i wasn't aware of any rule at that, i was just puzzled why i was alone. hahaha. i had fever later that day:P

i have been asked to join math quiz bees since then, but i can only recall winning the first time i joined. i aced math when i was in elementary (maybe because it was just plain adding or subtracting apples). my math teachers favored me (which i never enjoyed).

i have never been the treasurer for the class. we voted for those who have been joining math competitions outside school. or those who almost perfected math exams. i was either elected for secretary, sgt at arms (yeah right!), or even as president (which i didn't want.. ever!).

i sucked at math when i was in highschool. total sucker for trigo and geom, on my 3rd year in highschool. i hated this year, because this was the year i got line of 7's for math. yuck. math. then i hated math. i hated my math teachers as well, because they kept calling me with my sisters' names (they were two under them, so they kept calling me either with my last name, or with two first names). i hated them, because i they're too smart, i couldn't measure up. hahaha. add the fact that we were in a sp*cial section.

when i was in college, well, easy does it --1st and 2nd year was a way to go. 3rd and 4th year was a different story though. i hated my 1st trigo prof because it was a 7am class. and he's late when i'm not. and he isn't when i am. my 2nd trigo prof was a total monkey (not because he's a wise a**hole, but he damn looks like one). i hated him because he had multiple choice for an exam, and didn't accept my answers with erasures (which, i contested that it was not specified in the directions). more so, having a 3.5 grade point average for his class despite his threat to "take him personally". how professional, professor! and oh, i can never forget him wishing me a christmas gift -- to be a good girl. bletch!

i hated math. i hated it much now, that i can't even put up a mental calculation of a simple addition of how much i ate. or how much is the jeepney ride from RP to office for 13 persons? i hate math that i have to compute more or less a hundred shirts i've been trying to cater to my sister (whom i had a bad conversation.. erm, more of a high-pitched argument, just now, which brings me to this). i am pissed off that i have to compute all this stuff for her, which makes me realize then that i do not like to have business doing all the math.


a pop question was asked during our summer getaway. what contest you most hated ever joining? i said, declamation. and your most liked? spelling:P having joined math contest the most in my entire school years.. never really liked them.

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