A walk and a ride

it had been five (5) days. the longest i have been away from home. i cannot put into prose, in continuity, the experience i had in Hong Kong. so i'll be posting snippets from the five-day film strip.

..CULTURE-SHOCK, nada. i wasn't culture-shocked in my stay. people were almost asians, and i was used to seeing chinky-eyed people around. so maybe i just had a trip in Manila. hehe. and gawd, even in their "tiangge", there were otso-otso and sexbomb songs playing over. and the Chinese people trying hard speaking in Tagalog. OMG.

..CITY LIGHTS. the City Lights were the real city lights that i am looking for. an overlooking sight at The Peak left me slack-jawed. astonished as i was -- looking at the 18 of the top skyscrapers beaming with lights, i was like a kid who enjoyed them as they sparkle amidst the sky. the Tsing Ma bridge and the others were like belts of stars hanging over the sea.

..thank God for your legs. the lifestyle is about brisk walking, everyday, riding thru the Tram, lodging in the Ferry to take you to different islands, the double decker buses, the bus thru a rail road (i forgot what was it called) and the old boats of the villagers mostly used for fishing. there were Rolls Royce and the BMW's and the Mercedes-Benz's and Honda's but they were mostly owned by the richEST among the rich who can afford the parking which will cost them more than the amount of their car. 4/5 of the time, we were walking. leave the house at 9am, come home by 11pm. again, 4/5 of the time were spent for walking. really, my legs were complaing on the second day.

..SAME SAME. walk through the streets where it seemed like you have been there. hehe. everywhere you go, there is that same store. Giordano, SASA, U2, the Aji Ichiban, Esprit. every corner there's a mall (but mind you, they don't have that damn toy store who sells Looney and Cartoon Network! They don't know who Scooby Doo is!!!)

..DOG LOVERS. most of them own a dog.. i think it was a sight of a dog kingdom, with every breed walking thru the entire Park Island at Ma Wan every morning. waaaooowww.

..SHOPPING. with the malls, you can never do away without it. five days are not enough. although, i wasn't able to buy much. to buy something for every person here in our home sweet home, surely there's not enough time for that. hehe. for the babies, gaby and mae, maggie, ann, ate carol, kuya jun, kuya julius, jaymie, kuya bert, kuya top, papa. oh my. we cannot even carry as much luggage as we can!

.. SALE SALE. with the shopping you must find the store with the tag. or else we won't step on it. hahaha. it was fun, and Tito was really good with bargaining. i never expected him to be just that. even the torment of walking. hehe. maybe i was just thinking how papa is. hehehe. far away.

..ABYSS. the trip to Ocean Park on the first day was a blast!! ironically, it wasn't an abyss after all. the Abyss was the ride which will take you to the heavenly cradles of paradise... taking you atop (i don't know how high that was!) and turbo-drop you to feel the depth of the sky. haha, and i was lucky enough not to ride the DRAGON because it was closed for maintenance. harharhar! lucky me!:P

there's so much in here, and i always end up flooding my blog out. but i guess i have to end here... for the meantime. i'll be posting pictures soon. i am so much thankful to my Tita and Tito who have provided us with shelter, for all the prayers, and for accompanying us through the five days of dragging walks (most of the time spent in search of Scooby. Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you?!) and for financing us with the coins on the Tram, and me with the luxury that i can get. hehe. i can never thank you enough:) i wish we could get back soon.. for Disneyland!!!;)

i missed them all this soon... aaaaawwww.


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Dear Jessie

been truly a fan of Madonna. thru her songs Cherish, Crazy for You, I'll Remember... here's to bringing old Madonna back.

Baby face don't grow so fast
Make a special wish that will always last
Rub this magic lanternHe will make your dreams come true for you

Ride the rainbow to the other side
Catch a falling star and then take a ride
To the river that sings and the clover that
Brings good luck to you, it's all true

Chorus:
Pink elephants and lemonade, dear Jessie
Hear the laughter running through the love parade
Candy kisses and a sunny day, dear Jessie
See the roses raining on the love parade

If the land of make believe
Is inside your heart it will never leave
There's a golden gate where the fairies all wait
And dancing moons, for you

Close your eyes and you'll be there
Where the mermaids sing as they comb their hair

Like a fountain of gold you can never grow old
Where dreams are made, your love parade

(chorus)

Your dreams are made inside the love parade
It's a holiday inside the love parade

On the merry-go-round of lovers and white turtle doves
Leprechauns floating by, this is your lullaby
Sugarplum fingertips kissing your honey lips
Close your eyes sleepy head, is it time for your bed
Never forget what I said, hang on you're already there

Close your eyes and you'll be there
Where the mermaids sing as they comb their hair
Like a fountain of gold you can never grow old
Where dreams are made, your love parade


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Victim!!!

natatawa ako sa sarili ko kahapon. napagkamalan ko siyang kilala ko. kala ko talaga siya. naalala ko kasi siya, natawa ako sa idea na makikita ko siya ulit. sabi nila hindi daw siya yon. pero sabi ko "Siya yon talaga!" nilapitan ko siya... sinabayan ko pa ng lakad.. hinawakan ko siya sa braso.. tumingin siya.. WHOAAAA! tinitigan nya ako, nanlaki mga mata nya! nagulat sya.. natakot siguro ng sobra.. hahaha. natawa ako sa sarili ko! tumakbo ako pabalik.. tawa sila ng tawa. ang kulit ko daw kasi.. nagpipilit. ANG TIGAS KASI NG ULO MO EH! ayan napala mo.

naalala ko itsura nya. gulat na gulat siya.. takot na takot. haha. nagbalik tingin nga siya eh, kala nya siguro may kamera... bwahaha. VICTIM!!! o WOW mali?!


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Sweetest Goodbye - Maroon 5

Where you are seems to be
As far as an eternity
Outstretched arms open hearts
And if it never ends then when do we start ?
I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback
I have some things to say
How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I
Dream away everyday
Try so hard to disregard
The rhythm of the rain that drops
And coincides with the beating of my heart

I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comebackI have some things to say
How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I feel


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-Ber

i passed by Toyota few days ago, and i was fascinated with their new theme.. they always put up their "bonggacious" (excuse my slang) Christmas decor.. although, year after year, it is obvious that they have cost-cut. hahaha. i haven't felt the breeze rustling just yet, but the sight of Christmas lights, Santa Clause, and the Christmas Tree just rings the oh-so-many- bells... and oh, SM has already starts selling Christmas decors.. hahaha.. which brings me to thinking that gawd, by the next time i view the calendar, it'll spell out D-E-C-E-M-B-E-R... haaayyy. oh well. time really flies so fast. in no time, i'll be starting to work (yeah, damn right!), graduate, and then sing Happy Birthday to me... *sigh* then give gifts and exchange cards on season of 12-25. haha. i'm excited by thought of me wrapping and giving gifts.. AGAIN! hehe. i got myself bankrupt every season and i only end up giving a gift to my nephew!




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Bad headache

some thoughts i got from the books i've read and movies i've watched these past few days.

1. the term horny came from the Egyptian god of fertility, AMON, which is then represented as a man having the "horns" of a ram. thus paved way to the birth of such pointed term.

2. that MONA LISA, indeed, is a fusion of man and woman. ancient traces of gods and goddesses seemed to be reflected on this piece of art by Leonardo Da Vinci.

3. no matter how depressing or tragic our experiences can get, we would not opt to have them completely erased in our mind, no matter what. or any biological cause for the loss of memory cannot defeat the power of love... because somewhere along the way, they have taught us great lessons in life and leave fond memories to live by. no escape. no regrets.

4. we often find ourselves discontented with our lives. we wish we get what we want. but at that instant we have them in our grasps, we wish we get something else. and the cycle goes on. we find ourselves therefore, EMPTY. quoting from a friend, truly man possesses an inherent disability -- an insatiable hunger for gratification.

5. There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it. -- George Bernard Shaw

6. there had been varied explanations for the origin of friday the 13th. i dunno if i should still believe this one, but some allegorical explanation may suffice. i cannot explain enough, but it was about protecting the Church resulting to a tragic death of so many. well, doesn't really matter much. nothing i can relate to.

7. blessed are the forgetful. for they get the better even of their blunders. -- Friedrich Nietzche >> care to explain further?


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The Notebook

he was pulling his silver ring back and forth from his finger.. it makes him think twice. should he stay to relive either the anguish or the happy memories of their love? the movie was promising him something. it is just up to him up to what extent he wanted to be consumed.

I am nothing special; of this i am sure. i am a common man with common thoughts, and i've led a common life. there are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but i've loved with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough.

these were the first lines Noah Calhoun uttered as the movie opened. glad i was still able to follow with him through (and i posted it here too before!). it was truly a love story... genuinely it was. it is. i cannot capture the right words that could seem to fit the entirety of the film. CAPTIVATING. sure it was. unlike other books-turned-to-movie type, The Notebook has left me astonishingly sappy, in tears... well i wasn't actually sure if it were tears of joy or sadness or empathy but whatever has been drawn from that, it definitely mean something extraordinary. there was no room for comparison to what the film has turned out from having it extracted from Nicolas Sparks'. the important parts of it were there. *sigh of relief* my fellas had shed their say for the movie and so i wouldn't elaborate much.

love, seemingly is truly timeless. eternal. some believe that there's no such thing as PERFECT or even IDEAL. but the love story of Noah and Allie has truly captured that love that will last for eternity. it spoke of devotion and unconditional love. Noah stood by her, even it hurts... like a spear stabbed right thru. she was his life. his home.. until their last breath, with the few moments of Allie recovering from dementia, their fingers interlocked, side by side, they kissed and said goodbye, but not for long until their next life.

naturally, he caught himself crying. he cannot say a word. he pretended not to feel a thing. but his tears are telling us more than his lips can. but he carries it through. i know he will. they will.


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Tied the Knot

i haven't formally exchanged vows just yet, but there was a short confirmation of being tied. it was a whirlwind. i don't know. i just finally said YES. i was caught up with two dilemmas. a choice between the-not-so-likeable job. i was given enough time to think about it, but i didn't make use of that time to even "think". i wasn't really interested. and i almost had that final decision that i won't take it. but today just turned my life upside down. i was faced with two opportunities and i felt trapped. i thought that i didn't have the luxury to turn down two blessings at the same time. i could not let them just slip into my fingertips... i don't think that i am much valuable to this society that i am badly needed. no, not just yet that i am starting to take the path to corporate world. i am the guinea pig. or i am the youthful fish that is being lured by a striking plastic squid stuck on a hook. i don't even have the right to demand for something else. i've been pathetically convincing myself that i'll be goddamn "rich", so to speak (and that "rich" definition is relative to myself), and save enough for my fetishes. i will do have chances of flying from one foreign island to another. and a promising working environment where i can, or may, find my "knight". but daym, i cannot convince myself just that. i don't know. i hate the place. i frigging hate the hellish traffic! i fear that i'll be working with freaky old people who will maliciously and overly take advantage of their "superiority". i fear being called at night to fix some anomalies lurking around the system. worse, not be able to fix it! be asked to report on a frigging lovely weekend. have myself pestered by *ring*ring*'s flashing through my mobile phone, interrupting my holy days. ride myself to sleepless nights. ghostly midnights. miss the city lights of the high-maintenance world of Makati. miss the skyscrapers and the busy-buzzing people walking through the streets of Ayala. but should i chose something that cannot pay the work that you do? work for the name? thank you very much.

maybe it's just not time to get what i really want. or maybe, i have been focusing myself to the bad part of life that i am subjecting myself to hurt to be able to realize that there's still good things on the other side of it. self-confessed MASOCHIST, remember? maybe i've just been thinking too much. or then again, been complaining for no concrete reason just yet. or maybe it is quite too soon to look further. i haven't started. maybe i just have to take one step at a time. and gawd, i still have long life ahead of me. even before i end up my "tied-up contract" i am just damn 23!!!! young, really... hehe. still more room for success! bring it on!:D

i have had enough of the weighing and the maybe's. it has been delayed. and it is too late. i just have to leave myself with good thoughts coming around. i've promised myself just that. now, i'm thinking of a somewhat "long term" goal in life. well, i just can't believe that i am now driving myself to work because i am gonna be hell earning enough. it wasn't my ultimate goal in life, i just realized again. i want to be ultimately happy with my life, in general. maybe that's the worse part of thinking much. i have been complicating myself with unknown complexities that seem to bother me and make life miserable. much more miserable. well, now, i am thinking that i will be entering another phase and i need to surround myself with a lot of positive thoughts. i shall think that i am entering this job because there's a great possibilty of growth. i should be able to attain a higher level of understanding in this field. oh yes, in the IT field. (i have accepted that line of work, finally) i should prove to myself that i can do things on my own, that i can now decide for myself. that i am now solely in charge of my life, and that i have no other people to blame for my shortcomings. that i have to put myself to the top, because i need to get there, so after two years of being tied, i am ready to sell myself and yes, finally be proud of myself. i have to regain that pride that once was lost. i have to put a price to myself. that i am worth something. no, am not worth any monetary value. i just have to have that feel again that i am something. i am someone. i need to be proud of myself again and win first place.

enough enough. what matters most now is that i have 25 days left to my bummer days. i am CARPE DIEM-ing starting today. wish me luck. and oh, please do pray for me? will you?

Dear Lord, i pray tonight that You may bless me with serenity. i have been indulging myself into deep thinking and it has devoured me for the entire being. i pray that You guide me, as You have always been, that i may find true happiness and fulfillment that i haven't had full grasp of. i have been in continuous search for the path that You have intricately weaved out for me, and may i find one of its strands, through the decisions that i have made. in times of confusion, hear me Oh Lord, so i may be able to resolve the perplexities i am faced with. may You continue to bless me with guidance and wisdom that i may be able to carry out all Your plans for me. Lord, i offer these all to You.


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First Swipe

as the first sign of being a bummer, i swamped out of my bed the whole day. too bad, i caught myself with a terrible migraine.. it kills me everytime i have that attack that seems to break my skull in two. oh well, at least i got the rest i needed for three days. at long last, i finally had the taste of peace. devoid from stress. what a relief. *bliss* WHEW!

anyway, i've started to keep good things coming my way. i feel positive vibes around me. this is all good:) with anything that pulls me away from happiness, i veer away and drive myself to the road to bonheur. hehe. i've spent weekends my precious nephew and niece. i've watched The Big Fish. great movie. i just wish i had that conversationalist dad as Eddie was. and highlighting, my first swipe! i just bought the Borrowed Heaven and Songs About Jane!!! woopeedoo!!!! i'm so excited! hehehe. i am enjoying myself to the sounds of Maroon 5. oh yeah, first time i swiped the card, and scribbled my own signature to that white piece of electronic generated receipt. daym! i just wish i have work (but not too soon!) so i could buy my luxury once in a while;)

anyway. that's about it. hope good things come even more. You are all welcome, indeed!


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official flag bearer for the bummers!

today wraps up college life. it was saddening though. the last day didn't seem 'memorable'. maybe it was too highschool-ish to be just that. i still can't overcome the thought of me leaving school. oh well. that's life. i need to move on.

i'm now in for my ultimate mission. to REST.. for a while. indulge myself to the perks of being a bummer! reliving my couch-potato days. and my 'buhay-baboy' days.. sleep-eat-sleep. bwahaha. my quest for the eternal sunshine that may come to my spotless mind. to sleepless nights of waiting for a chapter, and another chapter, and another chapter to finish. to all the coke i can gulp and the MSGs i can munch. to the comfort of my bed, and the pesky mosquitoes which are really fond of sucking my blood. my skin immunity is not getting any better. to more YM and blogging sessions! and being in touch even more with the silver screen. waaaah!

it is official! i am now a certified bummer!!!! Congratulations. may you make the most out of it. soon enough you'll then be tied again. enjoy. CARPE DIEM, kiddo.

*i dyingly want that maroon 5 cd! huhu! donate donate! and the MYMP. and the Borrowed Heaven. and the Eleven Minutes. and the Shopaholic. haha. and oh, Keith Martin was beside us tonight. we were looking at Kyla's CD and he interrupted Mark by telling that "hey we have two duets there". hahaha. i just realized he was beside us when he interrupted our conversation. hahaha. :) and sudenly i just heard his music play over the background of the store. waaahahaahaha..


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Acknowledgement

i've done my acknowledgement to my dear college friends for everything we have shared through the entire 4 years and 1 term we have been together. the memories are immeasurable with any number of "thank you's" i can utter. now i'm thanking the people whom i owe my social life. if not for them, i could have really turned to a real nerd. haha. that's my personal definition of a nerd. WALANG SOCIAL LIFE. hahahahaha;p

Thank you to my highschool friends.. we are not collectively known as something else, for we don't know who's part of it really. hehe. so thank you to all. most especially to Buday, for always being an ear to listen (i really miss your manila line!! i can't complain to you anymore!!! bring it back! bring it back!!) . at least i've finished that last dragging chapter. but i've come to another predicament. (i've been vigorously been involving myself with that, don't i? self-confessed MASOCHIST.) i owe you my sanity. and please, for crying out loud, have your cell phone loaded!!! you're working dude! hehehehe;) to Pearl, thanks for the moments we've shared through YM complaining about thesis. hehe. i'm wishing you the best. you still have one more sem to go!!! wooopeedoo! thank you for taking time reading my whines even if it would mean not sleeping (again!) and exchanging your plates for me. or am i your scapegoat? tsktsktsk. i still am looking forward to our business deals in the future. i really hope we get filthy rich (oops, kami lang pala;p mayaman ka na!) so we make them all concrete;p to EJ for being my constant companion through college life. i really miss our bus rides home. :( and i miss your house. your room. your kitchen! hehe. thanks for being my siamese twin, connected through our intestines.. hehe. sana naman this time, we find ourselves having the same freaking experiences on a positive level naman. good luck on your MED school. don't give up dude. it is your passion. let it drive you;) thanks to Hart, for pestering me every God-given midnight with "pointless" arguments that we always end up into a pesky quarrel i can only give up to stop. but you never wanted me just simply giving up. 'escape', 'retreat', blah-blah-blah. no more comments on that. STOP. i've had enough every night. but thank you really, it made me awake at times i needed to keep my eyes open-wide. although it was sordid to keep an argument alive. it stresses me even more. hehe. but, on a serious note, thanks also for being "there" and for all the memories shared. you made me realize so much about life... and that it is bad to say sorry when you don't mean it. haha.:P To tara for being proud of me that i have taken courage. hehe. thank you for clicking with us easily.:) to Chase for taking me home those times we spent 3am at starbucks and for taking me home the next morning when you got asleep at pearl's house! hehehe. thanks really;) to Jerome, for all the rides din. since summer. hehe. thanks for your weird insights and i am glad that you realize now that having a CAR and a CELLPHONE is not a NECESSITY. gawd, i can't believe it took you 21 years to realize that!!!! hahahaha. thanks for all the pinky promises. teehee! i enjoy the times you never stop yakking about your life, most esp the 'most intriguing' aspect of it. hahaha;) continue building your muscles to keep you from being noticed at first glance as a, uhm, girl. hehe. to Pie, for still keeping in touch even if we're so many miles away... i really miss you. to Glenn for the ride home when Jerome and Chase weren't around yet. hehe. thanks sa lahat ng pangungulit kahit na ngayon eh nabawasan na. thank you to Carl for reading my blogs. hehe. for all the ym's.. and for my promising treat at Yellow Cab. hahaha. sama natin si...?? hehehe. joookeee:) buti naman you've changed my outlook towards your batch. it wasn't good. please don't ask:P

I really want to thank my family for being there, a cushion everytime i come home from battle (thesis that is. hehe). thank you to my MOM for giving me all the support i needed. for praying for me ( i really do praise the Lord for all blessings showered upon us) and for the much-awaited "reward" (i'm thanking in advance!) for all the sacrifices. hehe. i hope this is not drawing this time. for the nth time my dearest mother. hehe. to my dad who never seemed to talk that much, i know you're happy for me now that i am finished. to all my brothers and sisters for bullying me and pestering me everytime i am in front of the computer and looking serious. damn, i hate it when you do that! to my brothers, thank you for all the fresh-from-foot-socks you've been squashing upon my face. and for picking me up when i don't have any ride. i just wish you teach me how to drive already? long-standing request!!! to all my sisters, for all the clothes i wore, the watches i scratched, for the bags i ditched, and your perfumes i drank (hehe), for the accessories i lost. hehe. sorry for that. when i get rich, i'll get you to a shopping spree (yeah right?! haha!). to my nephew Gaby for bringing so much light into our house when you're around. for making me procrastinate just to stay with you for the night. for wrecking my pc the last time we were about to defend! (i didn't get mad don't worry:)) for all the scratches in my face. and for the pictures with you that i have posted online. hehe. to my niece Baby Mae, you bring so much joy when you're around. you and your kuya are my stress relievers. hehe! i hope you grow up to be a good girl;) like ninang. hehe!

i just want to thank the Lord again for all the blessings that He has been showering upon us. Thank you Lord for everything. there's far more than words can express for all the things You have done for us. thank you for all the prayers heeded. thank you for still hearing them out even if at times i forget to give thanks. You truly are my pillar whenever i am in doubt, and about to fall. I offer this all to You.

to all the people who had, has and still continue to inspire me to move on every single day, thank you. life hasn't been smooth for me. i've been born with all the complexities and ironies that seemed to have consumed me throughout this lifetime. but i could never have given so much importance about this life if not for the people i have met along the way... life has been worth the living. and suppose i say, i LIVE and not merely exist, it is because...

i'm ending this up with a favorite line i got from one of my favorite authors, Paulo Coelho. it best explains what i feel just now.

At the moment, I'm far too lonely to think about love, but i have to believe that it will happen, that I will find a job and that I am here because I choose this fate. The roller coaster is my life;life is a fast, dizzying game; life is a parachute jump; it's taking chances, falling over and getting up again; it's mountaineering; it's wanting to get to the very top of yourself and to feel angry and dissatisfied when you don't manage it....However, if I believe that the track is my destiny and that God is in charge of the machine, then the nightmare becomes something thrilling. It becomes exactly what it is, a roller coaster, a safe, reliable toy, which will eventually stop, but, while the journey lasts, I must look at the rounding landscape and whoop with excitement.


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Runs in the Blood

I think that one thing that is inherent in our family is, BEING LATE. yeah, surprise no more. it does run in the blood. I had been ever so late in my entire college life (i've never had a record of perfect attendance for my first classes for the day!). And i was freaking late today for my interview. YIKEEES!. Oh well. Really a bad trait, but can't even do away with it. I do promise myself when I work, I'll try to manifest punctuality. Hehe. And I'm doing away with the Manila route. Hell traffic really kills me!

Congratulations! This marks my fourth month in my hopeful attempts to come up with my own masterpiece. Try harder.




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