post 14th sentiments

can you honestly say you feel complete? what completes you? who will? when will you? how will you be?

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in twenty-one years of living, it will be out of hypocrisy to say that we don't need any intimate relationship with that "someone". in time, we will realize we need that other half who will provide us with the emotional and physical affection from an earthly being. even if we say we are complete alone, there is still that longing to be together and share that completeness with the one you, quote unquote, LOVE.

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solitary resounds as a totally out-putting image for me. dreadfully as i can imagine, being alone never cease to haunt me -- that the thought of waking up alone scares me even more that of a monstrous nightmare. i want to embrace the idea that being alone does not necessarily mean being lonely. but when i look farther from today, i cannot fight the feeling of being scared that i will only be with myself for the rest of my life. it is not a question of my capability of being independent, but it is more of being more than complete.. to be able to share that completeness with that special person, together.

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LOVE. it will never cease. it will always be there, in our hearts. abstract it may seem, it is tangible. unseen but it is existing. a bitter satire at times, but the sweetest irony of happiness behind the tears. love makes us complete. but we must love ourselves first to proclaim ourselves that we are whole.

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will always be loved. no matter how distant or even close. even if with no return. even if doubtful. even if skeptical. even if it came short. even if you left. even if you made me cry. even if it was too long ago. even if you gave up. even if it hurt. even if forgotten. even if i want to forget. even if it was just an illusion. even if near yet so far. even if you don't know. even if we never told. even if you never told. even if i only did. even if i thought you did. even if i waited long. even if i am still waiting. even if it's hard. even if it's gone. i still do even if it's odd. but the irony is that love has always been odd to be even.

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