Newbie

I'm proud to say that i am "enjoying" work. so far so good. it's because i am practically not working just yet. i'm still in school mode, sitting on that half-recliner for the whole day, forcing your eyes to keep it wide open, stuff your tummy with mentos (they have cost-cut. no more bananas and oranges:(), listening, and pretending to be listening. oh man. for the past few weeks after my last training with other newbies from other teams, i have been on AIDS mode (as if doing something) from 830am till 10am. and for lunch, i have always triggered my "stupid mouth" that almost always gets me in t-r-o-u-b-l-e. oh well. i'm trying hard to give it a break. operative word -- TRYING HARD.

Feeling close.
For the past 2 months (and 2 weeks) that i have been here, i am proud to say that i have "made friends". apart from the friends that were carried over and turned officemates from college (hehe), i have gained few people in my circle. the Ateneo boys, the UP Ladies, and the Green Archers (coED, hehe.) -- collectively known as the NEWBIES. we've had so many funny moments together, from all the practices for the OPI Christmas Party, to the ISD Christmas Party, the DANCE presentations (so much fun, really. despite the BIG BIG humiliation, they were really great experiences!), the games. the PAAARRTTYYYYY!!!! Everything. i hope it doesn't end after all these responsibilities that were burdened on to us (waaah!). besides the fellow newbies, the "oldies" (excuse for the antonym, hehe), were really cool to be with. i never expected people to be that FUNNY and GOOFY.. they all seemed serious at first. well except... harharhar:)

Goodbyes.
Damn. we just came in. but people seemed to be moving out. i am saddened by the thought that we barely knew all these people and they are now packing up and saying goodbyes. darn. it may have felt so hard for them leaving. they have established their second home (and literally speaking, their sleeping refuge) and they are bound to leave. oh well. life is inevitable with saying goodbyes. for there will be no more room for hellos if otherwise. but then again, i still hate saying them... i'm thinking about it though. why did they decide to leave?

The cube.
i still haven't proliferated mine with trash and doodles that i used to do to waste time. and the poems and quotes that you used to live up to. and the pictures. just to remind you of the better days. and the W.O.W. (words of wisdom) to whack you in times you forget.

Great Expectations.
Of course, it doesn't mean that we're getting along with each other will mean that you have really sink in to the family. you still have to live with expectations and still keep yourself altogether. don't come out too loose just yet.. reminder, keep your comments a bit discrete, pay EXTRA attention, do away with unnecessary activities, keep your mouth opened slightly (with only a small hole peeking for breathing and sleek speaking). utter words with substance, and keep your wits in tact. i believe you're losing your touch. keep yourself together. pack it up. like it was. 0r the way it was supposed to be.

Ring, ring, ring! the bells are ringing.

Enjoy every moment of it. Your time might be UP soon.


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Eternity

I have always dreaded the thought of someone leaving. Death has yet to signify a scythe.. the end... a tragic final destination. But one must see it on a different light. It is but a fateful and blessed transition... moving across a higher dimension and in eternal peace with the Lord. Most importantly, eternity is promised with absolute peace and contentment with Our Creator.


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My Knight

i've been worrying that people have been trying to attach some stories to my so-called life that I have never expected. even without an uttered word of "dangerous liaison" (to connect with a sensational feeling that is chained to t-r-a-g-e-d-y) with anybody from myself to anyone, i still cannot understand the fact that "people" with far or even farther association can put me into a connection that i have long before 'forgotten'. maybe i am still caught in the nightmare of a bugging 'fate'... or from a recurring 'past'... or from a present dilemma that has never seemed or NEVER WILL BE resolved in whichever angle we view it. i am CONFUSED... but, truthfully, there's nothing to be confused about. no one has ever pushed me to even think that it is yet to "even think about". excuse my paranoia. but i beg to defend myself and i have to say that you can never blame me to have felt that way. can i just say that i am but a normal person that is yet sensitive to any stimuli that can be fired momentarily?

they have been dabbing me with a "dangerious liaison" called L-O-V-E. it is the feeling that has never ceased to be forgotten, maybe it is yet but 'fate' to be always clinged to that word, a recurring past that has always taught me that i should, or from a present dilemma that i still haven't grasped REAL one. i cannot even tell why, maybe IT has never ceased to flash the headlines in any controversial conversation. i have been having 'associations' that struck me because it smelled something fishy (like perch sauced with coconut milk). like, with a tinge of "some truth" to that. reaction-less as i have tried, i gave a shrug. or even a grin to mean sarcasm. but at the end of the day, i catch myself as i fall asleep, "what have i done?".

people have always tried to associate myself with an "unknown" knight of mine. they have been clinging my heart to someone i don't even have full grasp of if HE trully exists (well at least in my territory). people from the past, or 'the recurring past', are trying to be pulled out from an ancient history. i am not that numb not to even think that maybe the feeling that must be just lurking around. but the PROBLEM is that i have refused to even think about it just yet.

My Knight has yet to come. HE might be coming in, coming out... Pretenders might be masked to be My Knight, but the heart must beat with magical throbbings that seemed to play a certain melody. Until when.. on the right time? Maybe. But I'll never know. I shall never wait. However I must keep myself obscured from negativities that always pull me back. But I shall never keep myself opaque from the thought that maybe My Knight will come to rescue me and TAKE ME HOME.

love has always taught me to be patient. but it was never successful to sink under my skin. maybe i haven't been virtuous enough.

==
staying up late. try again.


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Breeze

I smell Christmas.

Even if I pass by a junk shop, or a pile of trash, or even stacked old tires, it still smells like the season to be jolly...

The best time of the year. I smell the sweetness of giving, the feel of reuniting and the taste of the whirlwind vacation but always seemed to last a lifetime.

.looking forward.


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