Complacent

adj. contented; self-satisfied and unconcerned

i have been out last night and came to meet a few friends. we had dinner as usual (which always takes forever to decide where. at least almost all were in time. Thank God for that!) and never came around watching a movie.. opt to have a chat instead. they always had the knack for drinking and "one time big time" while talking about life, in general. more often than not, the bitterness of it.

she had a share of her own, i cannot think of mine, the other either. then this friend of mine came bursting out so much bitterness. i cannot collect everything that he has been uttering. it whacked me, big time! i cannot accept the fact that someone close to us has been recalling life to be so awful and full of pain.

bottomline of this saddenning argument is that he chose to be complacent. of course there is nothing wrong with being just that. but the thing is, he is doing NOTHING. and thinking that EVERYTHING is totally delusional, tires you from HOPING for a better outlook in life.. he's saying that since man creates his own emotions, and that they are all based from imagination, di na lang sya mag-iisip ng magagandang bagay. it is like saying that you create your own misery. sabi nya, nagho-hope ka ng magagandang bagay to come to your life, but at the end of the day you really don't get what you want.. and you realize even further that everything is a variable and nothing really lasts forever. so true. pero ang dating eh, so ikaw rin may kasalanan pala. wag ka nalang mag isip. ikaw lang din ang gumawa ng problema mo. DAMN! anong klaseng pag-iisip yan? totoo ba yan? being complacent doesn't just mean satisfaction and just absorbing what is present. que sera sera. i mean DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! if you don't get what you want, strive hard to achieve it! steady lang? stagnation yan eh! walang growth. at isipin pa isang taon ka palang na mamamatay ka rin in the end? gawd. what a painful way to view life. sabi ko nga HALF EMPTY. pero di rin nga eh, EMPTY talaga.

di ko maisip talaga, di ko matanggap. di ko ma-explain. his thoughts were "argumentative" to his own, even conflicting what he just said. again, i can't believe that there would be someone EVEN more impossible than this someone i know, thinking about LIFE in a totally negative way. may tatalo pa pala sa kanya. baaaakiiiit???

as i walked inside my room (thank God, someone opened the door for me:)) i came to think about the way i view life. and even if i don't get what i want, and even if i have moments of bitterness, it isn't so resentful at all that to have a better life is cynical. for twenty-one years that is, it wasn't so bad after all, and that i am not yet tired of living it the way it is. ENJOY the moment. at times when you're feeling sulky, there's always, always, always the LIGHT at the end of the tunnel. and if you choose to make your own emotions, never put yourself down that you will always feel deprived of the things that you hope for. if you don't achieve it, strive harder. quoting Paulo Coelho, the entire universe will conspire to help you achieve it.

stil, CARPE DIEM. seize the day. live life to the fullest.


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