Another episode of slavery, but this is not much about it:P

Hehehe. I just entered dreamland when my first step into it got interrupted by a call. Augh. The slave has been called, AGAIN, for duty. I was feeling kinda groggy answering the phone since I got home late already and I have had a hard time lulling myself to sleep. So he said 'I am sorry to wake you up.. blah blah blah.' Hell, your sorry couldn't make it any better. Wahahaha. Sorry, it's a bit too off:D I am just having a bitter time waiting for the ticket to be closed. Sorry about that, my friendly midnight phone pal. I know you're just doing your job. And your apology is accepted:)

Anyway, it was a looooooong day. I spent 12 hours at work. Well, I wasn't really working 12 hours. Hehehe.
- A twelfth of the time I spent yakking with officemates about the drowning e-mails.. of countless tickets.. of running follow-ups. of no priorities but was set to pending status (!!!).. of disappointments of our bosses.. of on-the-verge-of-giving-up talks.. of a long but lost love.. of falling but getting up again (naks).. of a birthday celebrant.. of sneaky out-of-offices..
- Another twelfth of it was of pseudo-helping a colleague get pass her case study. I really pray she gets done with it. I know the feeling, really:P Hope I was, at least, of help;)
- Another twelfth of it was spent over lunch table, drugging ourself to coke over trumps (a card game. similar to bridge? not sure about it though:P).
- A quarter of it mostly spent over a funny, laugh trip conversation with another friend. Hehehe. I got a little nostalgic about remembering college and sometimes those frustrating moments can really make you laugh now. I was a bit hurt, him laughing about me (even if i was totally kawawa - [kaluuy ba she?] sa kwento ko. hmp), but at the end of it we should really learn how to get over it and jokingly share the traumatic experience. Harhar.
- And the rest was spent with ACTUAL WORK. Does this hour count still?

What a way to spend 12 hours at work. Harharhar.

Of fetish, pet peeves, and mannerisms. What's yours?
1. I've really got a foot and hand fetish. One reason I hate rainy days (and mondays too), because I don't want my feet to get wet. Icky. And for the hand fetish.. for men with neat and veiny hands. Hehe. I don't know why, and it really reminds me of my highschool teacher in Religion. Hehe.
2. I was just reminded of it, when my younger sister asked me what it meant. Hehe, funny I can't think of something extraordinary, but before I used to have a long list. I can't remember one now. Tsk tsk. Recently, I've been having a hard time digging up some on my memory bank. My grey hair is gradually becoming visible now.. *Shakes head*
A pet peeve is a minor annoyance that can instill extreme frustration in an individual. Typically each person has several pet peeves that aggravate them more than the average person. Another person may not react as negatively or at all to the same circumstance.
3. I really don't have a mannerism, but the closest that I can have is when I play with my ears when I don't have earrings.

I can not wait anymore until the ticket closes. I WILL SLEEP NOW. *bog*

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Horoscope Daw

If you feel like slowing down, then you have perfect timing -- because one or two fascinating people will come into your world and they deserve your careful, studied attention. Skip past the small talk and get right to the heart of what's on your mind. They can handle the direct approach, and will match you witty remark for witty remark. Your opinions may be challenged, but you will have a great time defending your position. Keep an open mind, and let yourself learn something new.

You're relaxed, ready to empathize with others and share the nice things in life. Convince some friends that you should all give each other foot rubs or climb trees in the park. Companionship makes your day complete.

Hahaha, what can I say???

postscript: Happy Birthday Leo!!!

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Long Time Coming - Oliver James

I've had a change of heart.

It was just like a week ago, when I was here talking bold of "playing games". Now, as I have relentlessly been thinking-- over and over again, going in circles -- I came upon admitting (with utmost regret) that I have conceded.

Why? I don't know actually, and I hate to dig for some logical explanation to give myself something to blame. I am restless. And it's sadenning that it is a F-R-I-D-A-Y and I am stuck with myself wrestling about a mood-swing-caused temper. Augh.

Now, I am just remotely moping with Oliver James (thanks to Jode for sharing this with me, I dunno if you're the one to blame for my current mood. harhar, kidding:P). But here's to the long-waiting chance of a lifetime. Hehe.

Everybody wants to be loved
every once in a while
we all need someone to hold on
just like a helpless child, yeah
can you whisper in my ear, let me know it’s alright

Chorus
It's been a long time coming
down this road and now I know
what I've been waitin' for
and like a lonely highway
I’m tryin to get home
Ooo, love's been a long time comin'

You can love for a lifetime
you can love for a day ,you can think
you've got everything but everything is
nothing when you throw it away, yeah
then you look in my eyes
and I have it all once again

It's been a long time coming
down this road and now I know
what I've been waitin' for
and like a lonely highway
I’m tryin to get home
Ooo, love's been a long time comin'

Didn't know I was lost till you find me, uh huh
Didn't know I was blind, but now I see

Can you whisper in my ear, let me know it's alright

It's been a long time coming
down this road and now I know
what I've been searchin' for
and like a long, long highway
and now I see
Ooo, love's been a long time oh been a long
Love’s been a long time comin'

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The game is on!

Before anything else, I would like to thank those who have dropped by and commended the new layout:) I was actually having doubts of putting this up since it didn't occupy the entire page. And I have to resize my tag-board just to let it fit. I had two choices in mind (the other one's green with a fairytale lake banner and this one), but I opted for this instead coz it was "girlie" and had white background to make it a little lighter (coming from black, way too light!)

Anyway, I'm again up in these wee hours of the morning for another release. It's just too sadenning that I have to get up and "work". And during these times that I had to choose on staying up late or waking up (not passing up at least 2 hours of sleep), I got a good conversation with some people hanging around the same hours as I do. And at this time, mama is now cooking breakfast. Augh.

Oh, I've been thinking if I'll be coming early to work tomorrow. Hehe. I feel so much deprived of sleep since friday. Oh well, better run back to bed and get as much sleep as I could. TTFN. That is -- ta-tuh for now:P

Let the games begin, so I self-declared. I wouldn't want to play silly on this one, but I guess I just have to coast along. May karma not strike on me soon, or anytime, or ever (better say). Exciting so it seems. But I guess it really needs a lot of effort to do this. And, help me God, that I may be able to put it up and carry myself thru. Win or lose.

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I'm feeling kinda weird right now. I got called around 12am for duty and when I started to get up and open my pc, some weird feeling came bursting from my heart. Suddenly, I just felt like crying. I dunno if the spurts of emotions came from a dream or a certain thought that passed out my brain in split of seconds.

I cannot actually remember what dream I was having when I heard my phone ringing 'Unpredictable'.. and what emotion I was having on that moment I answered the phone. I was sure it wasn't because of that "call" and get disturbed in these hours of the night.

Pop!
Maybe because I was thinking that I may be losing it, like you did?
Or the fear of it might take its toll?
Are you thinking of me?
Are you feeling the same way like I do? Now?

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Amazing Coincidence

I have been trying to dig my archives for some hours coz of some vivid memory that I actually posted Sonnet XVII twice in this blog. Amazingly, I found it at the same month, the same day, one year before my last post for Violet. That is way too amazing for me. I was actually thinking and relishing that piece of art at the same day. I really love it. Although my sentiments were different for each moment, nonetheless, I still feel the same level of emotions. Awwww.

Check it out. Something must be really, really, really happening on the 25th of July. Isn't it amazing? Am I about to watch out for something this July 25th? What do you think about that?:P

July252004 and July252005 ;)

This spot has turned two years last June 6. Way to go!!! *applaud*applaud*

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Tonight I Can Write

It was quite nostalgic to have read one of Pablo Neruda's greatest writings from a colleague's blog. And I can't help but to re-read the entire Sonnet XVII from a previous entry to rekindle the moment I have first met him (Neruda, that is) more or less eight years back. Thanks to Ms. A, whom I owe much of what I know about Literature in its essence and how I love it now;)

I have piggy-backed some emotional baggage last week and am glad that I have unloaded some of them and threw them away for history to collect. Although I haven't completely recovered (and snippets and pinches of hurting are lingering still, with various reasons.. mixed up for all aspects), maybe another Neruda masterpiece can accommodate some weariness.

Translated by W.S. Merwin:

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

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City of Blinding Lights

I have been travelling this same route for about six years now. I got used to heavy traffic, crawling from taft to alabang-zapote road for one and a half hours to two (if lucky, I'd be able to sweep it in less than an hour). But, despite these long years, I still have been relentlessly complaining and hating this CITY. I have even formulated my INFINITE Reasons why I hate travelling in MANILA.
1. Freaking jeepney drivers who makes Taft Avenue their parking lot
2. Stupid jeepney drivers who waits until forever to have their jeepneys fully occuppied (an 8-seater that turns into 10!)
3. Lousy jeepney drivers who, either beats the red light or waits for the second red light to beat (having a chit-chat with fellow drivers. Man, namiss nila isa't-isa?!).
4. Stupid bus drivers who wait until forever to have their bus fully occupied. and what I mean with fully occupied is when EVERY SPACE is totally impenetrable. Ni-hindi mahulugan ng karayom.
5. WEDNESDAYS which should be a HOLY day in Baclaran, but a total nuisance to my projected 1.5 hour travel.
6. Unprojected time travel. You can never tell. Really.
7. Awful smell when the bus starts to open its doors at Baclaran.

I wish our office moves some place in Makati. Hehehe. Selfish reasons though. But, I really do hope we move so I can just ride one shuttle away in Landmark.. and breeze to home in 45minutes. Without the hassle of jampacked buses. And lousy drivers. Without the cockroaches. With a breath of fresh air.

Some things seemed to have remained as they are. Most things around me are still the same. But the feelings have changed. The people around me have changed. So am I. TBC..

*Photo taken at 7th flr DIB. Courtesy of SEW900i;)

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