farewell to 2007!

has it been fair and all well for me the past 365 days?

i told myself i was going to start the year right. and i did. and i think i did a good job at making the year the best year of my life to date. there was just so much with the past year that made my life tumble with joy, tears, happiness, pain, suspense, excitement.. to the many adventures.. lucks and bad lucks.. first time experiences.. land, air, water trips.. parties, events, hangouts.. love, laughs, tears..

i am so proud to let all the people know that the year that was, is the best year of my life... YET. that i never would've any regrets that i have spent the year the way i did. they might not all be right and i may have made a lot of mistakes. but this is who i am now and have defined how i will be in the future. i will become a better person. i will be living my life better to be more fruitful and fulfilling. i will become happier than ever. i will be building my dreams now, and making it happen.

i am happy and thank you to all the people who made my 2007 the best. my 24th year of existence had been more meaningful. i will set the bars higher and make 2008 better than better. the best has yet to come. :)

cheers to 2007, for a year that made us who we are now. another toast for 2008 that will make us better for the coming years!!!

who said life was fair? you can only have the luxury of living it well. Carpe Diem!

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welga! welga!

while the Writers Guild of America is currently holding a strike, we, ebot and violet, have resigned to produce articles for the corporate magazine. We will not accept, or on an indefinite refusal to accept any favors or charity to scribble a write up for a momentuous event in the company. i have been out-of-focus to discover that our article has been edited entirely, as if it was written by someone else. i felt violated. it was as if i was robbed off a license to write a decent article. not that i am saying that ours was perfect, but the fact that it was changed and we weren't informed, and our names were still published as authors... i am enraged to have tagged of some article that we didn't even write. i was too ashamed to let the entire company, and i mean in all regions and territories, read something that was totally not ours.

i cannot imagine writing that kind of article. sorry and excuse my arrogance. but really... i cannot let something be published without having it proofread (at least for something that is going to be circulated in an organization where reputation matters:p and bosses, and big bosses are having a quick access to information from its employees). *sigh of disbelief.. of embarassment.. of sadness*

i am redeeming ourselves from this. not that i am bragging, but i just would like them to know that we did not write that article. i am not claiming ours is better, i am posting this to, at least, let others know what we have written. i believe this just deserves to be published.

for the summer sportsfest 2007:
From the first bullseye target, till the last move to checkmate, OOCL Summer Sportsfest 2007 has rummaged every inch of a muscle in all OOCL Employees.

Commenced last April 24, 2007 at the Garden Deck of DY International Building, the Sports Committee headed by Rheeo Gatchalian opened this year’s sportsfest with a feast. Yellow, Green, Pink and Purple, as fun and vibrant each represent, are the four teams for this year’s sportsfest. Having the entire event run for five weeks, with six games to vie for (darts, table tennis, badminton, billiards and chess), the event brought excitement and tension to each team day-by-day. As each week passed, teams’ standings were so close, giving all teams a strong chance for the first spot. Competing with each other neck to neck, every team screamed -- at the top of their lungs to break a leg! (more leaning to the idiom, though). Action packed as these weeks were, snapshots of the events still linger to these sports enthusiasts. Mouse set aside as dart invaders aim for the bullseye. Heads turned left and right with smash after smash as shuttlecocks came crossing courts faster than the speed of light. Spikers’ serve resounded an echo. With throbbing hearts, the receiver got ready for the attack as everyone waited for the kill. But as all games end, only one team emerged as champions. Garnering the highest points, taking away three games as first – hail to the Purple Team for being paramount to all the best and victorious of all winners.

Hit the Bullseye. Spin the ball. Smash the shuttle cock. Serve with a Spike. Break it. Until finally, one goes Checkmate! 2007 Sports Committee, congratulations for a job well done!

congrats ebot for this article. it may have not been published as expected, but i am proud to have produced an article, as this, with you. thank you:)

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sweet and cute victory:)

i remember a few months back, one of my teammates shared to us that he has been addicted to the stacker game at timezone. i didn't know what it was then, so when i had the chance to "exercise" the kid in me, i went to timezone and started trying it out by myself. the first time i did, i actually won the minor prize. i opted to take it, because it was my first and i wanted to have something for my first win. but, since i was a newbie at that, i wasn't able to get the minor prize coz there was a stupid time limit to get the prize. i didn't know, and when i had to press the start button to get it, the time was over... so what i did was to try again:D and chose to go for the major prize this time:D after three attempts, i was a sore loser not to get any... awwwwww..:(

last saturday, while waiting for the movie showing, i paid a visit to my little playground and tried my luck for the nth time. i was feeling a bit easy this time... the first game i had was the stacker game. i was paying full attention to the squares moving from side to side, stacking it in the middle... my eyes were rolling from left to right. hitting the red button as the light were in lined in the middle. minor prize, kaboom! i hit it!!! i had the gut feeling i was going to have a good shot at this one, so i went off to get the major prize. three more lines. one square. first line. kaboom! hit!!! second line.. kaboom! hit again! and here comes the last... the square was really moving fast.. i was getting the beat of it. then i pressed the red button at that instant i felt it was directly above the last square. and YES! kaboom! MAJOR PRIZE it is!!!! i had a winnie the pooh stuff toy!!! (which, i must say was not a cheap one. it was fluffy and stuffy hehehe).. it was cute really:) and i was so happy that i got it finally:D i was watching the other kids play it, and i haven't found anyone yet who hit the jackpot:P hahahahaha!!!!


i had my mind on it. i had a strong feeling that it will be mine. i was feeling that i will get it. i've waited long enough. i've tried so many times and i thought i won't be able to get a hold of it. many times i thought of giving up. but the emotion was far too strong to let myself give up on it. i knew and felt that it was for me. i was victorious. I AM. finally, i had it:) and the most important part of it, i was with you.

to this i wait... till i finally call it my own victory.

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octOVER

october is finally over. my birthday month;) it wasn't just a day.. a week.. it's been a month. i have been celebrating my 24th year for days and days and i can't seem to get enough of it:) and there's much with this month that it has always been filled with momentous events.. the OctoberFest. i remember posting my last year's birthday bash and i had to call it octoberfest, octoberpest. hahahaha. there's just too much with this month that i never fail to put up a banner inside my head.. reading..."to the month i swore i'll never get over:P"... hahahaha. this month seemed to be sluggishly come day by day. not because i am bored, but there's just too much that a week after my birthday seemed months have gone by.

with this month, we had four celebrators.. two additional from our team;) every week, we had to put up a surprise! hahaha. mine was great. i had full of surprises. and gifts. and love:) i was asked the other day (in a high-schoolish spin-the-bottle session with my teammates:P), that if i had a chance to repeat a day all-over again, what would it be? i had my answer in a jiffy (since i was asked a similar question a few days back:D), and it had to be my birthday this year:) it was the first time that i got to celebrate it with the special people (physically and in spirit, in my heart:P) in 24 hours:) well, the only time that i wasn't able to celebrate was the very few hours of sleep:P and it has been a birthday month. it has been special than ever. i never had the chance to fully explain in detail, but really it is the greatest birthday i've ever had in 24 years of existence:) i was and am still awed and, still reveling with outmost joy the days that i had been celebrating it with family and friends:) i still haven't gone over it yet not until the last day of the month. hahahaha. thank you for all the gifts:) it has always been the child in me. i love surprises:)

week after my birthday, we had our last teambuilding. i had a blast. of joy. of tears. not a total disaster but it was great. the long drive was a pain in the a** but i must say that it was worth the time for togetherness:) the sunny day could've made it, but the whip of the strong wind with the shower of rain made it a bit lonesome to wrap up the day. the emotions were in-tuned with the weather. but as all rainy days go, a sunny day follows:) and it outshines the gloominess of the rain.

the last event for the month was our halloween party:) it was a long-time in planning.. and i'm glad that it still pushed through. honestly, i was afraid it wouldn't... thank goodness, we pulled it through:D i am excited with the pictures!!! of fairies (good and bad:P), of a surgeon (not a nurse, or a caretaker mind you), of a hula dancer, of scream!!!, of dracula, of demons (not framework:P), of a chinese pirate (more like of a shaolin to me:D), of shrek turned dracula, and of zorro in his mask (with elena... where? in his heart:P). the night-out at the pad with two poles was great.. the spin-a-bottle, the tequila, the "active" moments. hahaha. it was a great. great night.. happy night. tiring night.

what a way to wrap up october. and yes, it is finally over:(

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Happy happy happy:)

I've been pinning myself to write a recap of what life has been after three quarters this 2007. We're down to the last and I must say that bigger and better and the "hellacious" (:P) keep coming my 24th year.

It has been a blast. The past week. My birthday week:) Not all smiles. But in general, and most of the time, HAPPY:) No nitty gritty details. I would like to perceive it as one big happy smile. Full of surprises. gifts. love. For the entire week:) Happy happy happy:)

Thank you to all the people who became part of my birthday week. Especially to those people I've been with on the day itself:) You mean a lot to me, and I am truly grateful and blessed to have spent my most memorable day for the entire year with you. I must say that this is the best birthday.. yet:) I am looking forward to better birthdays ahead. I love you, all:) *kisses and hugs*

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I got to watch Stardust last Saturday and it is a great movie:) It wasn't dragging (although excuse my sleepiness that it had to kick-in involuntarily, not because the movie was boring. I was just to sleepy and it was very conducive for a short break:P haha not an excuse, not an excuse!). I just would like to share Yvaine's monologue to poor Tristan who turned into a mouse for a few minutes. Her speech was lovely.

Yvaine: You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

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A Love Story

I got to read Bom's blog with Jim Paredes' article. I was astounded by the women that he had in his life. Not because of the number of women that came by, but of the lessons that he learned with them.

It was not that long ago when I wished I could write my own story. I have read stories of love. Watched movies about love. Heard stories about love. To every relationship that I have come across, I was just a spectator. I have had my own comments... good or bad. Advices.. that which some have come unsolicited. I had a say. And that it had always been easy telling them what to do, or thinking upon yourself what could've they done.. or pretending to be in that position, and acting upon it readily as if I were on their shoes. It has always been different. And it has always been easier said than done. Definitely, easier said than done...

The latest love story that I have come across was that of a man who came across two flowers at the same garden. These flowers were lined up in a stream of pots. In all shades and hues... The first that came to sight had been his favorite. Red Rose. Beautiful, in its full bloom. The other flower was a Violet Lilium. He didn't know what it was called. It just came to him in passing, as the flower bowed its head not showing the true beauty of its petals. The others were ordinary that he didn't come to notice.

He roamed around the garden and then came back to the rose to which he was attracted the most. He was mesmerized by the beauty of the rose that he examined every part of it. The pollen. Its petals. And leaves. He wanted to pick the flower, although tempting, he refused since the thorns protruding its stem threatened him to be pricked. He, then, watched the flower from afar and appreciated the beauty of the flower.

But there came a time that he was no longer happy that he could not touch the flower. He risked being hurt, went thru the thorns, and came to pick the rose. How lovely it was for them to be together now. Even if the thorns still bespeak of danger or of unrelenting susceptibility to pain, he still continued to pursue his love for the flower. It was hard, however, he reveled in the joy of risking.. There was no other flower anyway, not any flower that he knew of.

It has been years since the man has nurtured his love for the rose. He took care of it. Sprinkled with love. Showered it with rays of sunshine. He was still avoiding the threats of the thorns. But after some time, he began to slowly lose his love for the flower. He was tired. He did not feel that he can love the flower fully because of its thorns. He felt that it was now an obligation to take care of the rose. The rose did not speak of any pain. It fully submitted to the love of the man. Though it cannot defend itself from the thorns, the sacrifice to live with the man for as long as it can, made it bloom further than it has ever imagined itself blooming.

He was not falling out of love with the beauty of the rose. He was still taking care of it. He still loves the radiance it brings. But he felt empty at times. He felt that his love was coming out of guilt. Or of a commitment that he swore he'd keep. It was not good. Then he came back to the garden where he found the rose. He walked for a while, then it came across the lilium that still bowed her beautiful violet petals amongst its leaves. The man was curious and he came to give a closer look to that flower. Only then he realized the beauty of a lilium. Gazing up at him, its glow spread outward.. exuding a scent of joy... of happiness that reverberated through his body. He examined it yet again, and slowly, he began to fall for the lilium. It was lovely. The beauty illuminates a certain fragrance that lived darkly in its body.

Yet he thought, he could not take care of two flowers. The pot that he made was for one. Only one flower can fit in. Now he thought to risk the place that he had made for the rose... and pick the lilium and plant it to the pot. But the beauty of the rose will just die without defenses. It won't die a natural cause of death. It will die because of a love that was lost. Then, the lilium was still there, bowing its head... waiting to be picked..

The ending has not yet been known. For now, the rose still holds the pot. And the lilium has been one with the others...

Love at the wrong time. Love that was so true, but a mistake. It is painful to call a love a mess. Contradictory to its meaning, love is a strong positive emotion... with relevance to an energy that sustains a powerful state of happiness... and joy. But to all the good comes in the bad. Love is a choice. Love is a choice to do the right.. Or to do what we desire. Neither of the two is of lower value.

Love at the wrong time is love that is lost. Some may take the risk of leaving the now to revel in the joy of the future. Some, as most take, risk of leaving a probable future, because the odds does not give them any reassurance of happily-ever-after. But who knows? Nobody knows what the future holds. It has always been a great idea not to keep the doors closed. However, for how long can we? Can we hold it further without anyone come knocking besides that person you've been waiting for all along?

Yes it is true that we meet better people in our lives. Better flowers... More beautiful. More radiant. But how long do we keep ourselves from being tempted to pick another flower? How long do we keep finding which is better without even starting to pick? Opportunity only comes once. We may never find another flower like it..

Love is a risk. Love is pain. Love is love. We learn how to love. We love to learn.

I love you. My heart can only wait for as long as it can. I hope you come back at the right time.

-- violet

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Always On Your Side - Sheryl Crow Ft. Sting

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But my demons and my angels reappeared
Leavin' only traces of the man you thought I'd be
To afraid to hear the world's I'd always feel
Leavin' you with all the questions all these years

Is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No, it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

Is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be?
no, this isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away,
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wandering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side?

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A Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I pray that God bestows me what my heart desires. On the right time. My faith has strongly believed that things are meant to last only if they deserved them well.

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guilty!

hehehe, this is the third post for tonight, and yes i'm on a roll.

i am a self-confessed guilt-freak right now. i am mad. i am crazy.

i can't stand this. but i have to. for how long? i don't know.

i am going to be killed for this.

i did not commit murder. i am not convicted of any crime.

but i am guilty of simple pleasures. gossip. showbiz. a pinch on the face. stalking. secrets. clean foot fetish (obsessive preoccupation). manly hands. goodnights. cariño brutal. more ice cream than cake. banofee pie. shopping. long chats. videoke.

what is your guilty pleasure?

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the few good men

i have three brothers, which i never ever realized that i can appreciate them now more than ever.

my eldest brother is really a tall guy. well not that much, but he is the tallest amongst us. when i talk to him, he usually leans to his right. he has quite a poor sense of hearing. his hair is not straight. he has a dark complexion. although, all my brothers are dark since they really grew up on the streets. literally. of all my brothers, he's the smartest. medyo idol ko nga sya. hehe. medyo lang :P he talks about sensible stuff. he's not a nerd, but he is really smart. i like it that he answers my questions. i value his opinion. there was this one time that i really had a petty argument that we did not talk for months. but, of course, we live in the same house so he can't stand not talking to me:P ha! or me. hehehe. i was really feeling bad that he doesn't talk to me. but eventually we did. how? i dunno. we just did. i just love him.

my next brother, who is the fifth, is the hippiest. hehe. he's cool. for me, he's the type na "kilabot ng mga kolehiyala". hehehe. i never admitted to him this, but he really is a good-looking man. naks! proud. hahaha. no, really. porma, dating, gentleman-ness. wooh! sya ang dapat tularan. hahaha. he picks me up even if he had to pick up his girlfriend (now wife.. hehe). i like it that he takes care of his then girlfriend, but he does not forget his family:) now it is understandable that he takes care of his "family" more. but he still picks us up, if he can:) we have the same profession, and i really idolize him for being where he is now. he has a good career and a great family to boot. jackpot!

the youngest brother, is three years older than me. well, i don't regard him as old, but sometimes i really think he really is old. hahaha. but too young to get married:P sometimes i get irritated that he never gets tired seeing his girlfriend everyday. but maybe that's really the way it is. (yah, i really dunno:P). he is the most makulit, and the most madaldal ever. he can practically deal with any kind of person. maybe that's the reason my mom got him as one their sales people in their biz. we fight most of the time. but i know there's just this sweet bone in him (i still think that he's the most demonstrative, and well, yeah, sige na nga, sweetest) that sometimes i really can't take. like, it's icky sometimes. hahaha. but he's my brother afterall.

i like it so much that they are taking care of their wives, kids, and girlfriend (for the last). minsan naaasar na nga ako na wala sila, dahil nasa mga babae nila, hehehe, pero we can't really hold them at home forever. i admire them that they pick them up, take them home, had their girls at home to be known to us. and i must say that they really have a good choice:P hehehe. i was and am good to them:P i treat them as part of our family. i like it that they are brutally sweet to us (hehehe, masochist:P), i like it that we don't talk much, but when we do, we just laugh our heads off. i don't like serious stuff, so it's just fine with us that we are really not that super close. like secret-sharing kind of close. hehe. i like it that they're older, three years minimum, and we don't have much differences in what we like. i like it that they don't spoil us much. but when we ask. they give:) hehehe.

i told my friend the other day the worst ever stuff that my brothers did or is still doing to me. having us girls smell their super baho socks.. rubbing their armpits on top of our heads. utot sa harap namin (kadiri talaga). i just give them the worst "kurot" they can take, i am really good at this. my brothers can give a testimony to the many bruises they got from me. they just deserved it:P but, even at their worse, i must say that i really admire them for being just my brothers. and i really wish that the person that i will end up with will have bits and pieces of my brother in them. if they get the worse, then they will just suffer the worst from me as well:P not to mention the pinches that i have mastered all these years:D

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home alone

i haven't been home alone for years. i think. i never wanted being alone. more than the fact that i really get bad migraines doing nothing than watch tv and lie awake in bed, i really can't stand solidarity at home. but the weekend that was, was quite different from the days i have been alone at home. and being at home, perse.

i cooked lunch. i was with my brother, and it was the first time (maybe again in years), that he told me he was smelling good food (from me:P). nothing grand with the chicken, it just smelled good of course tasted good mind you:D not much cleaning done, the house was completely in order before they left.

i didn't eat much. i wasn't even hungry. i did open the tv to check out Angel Locsin's welcome party at ASAP (hehehe, hell yeah, i am a tv/local showbiz addict:)) but after a few cuts, i turned it off and stayed at my room and started to read instead. i loved the silence. it was just the swing of the electric fan that i was hearing, and the turn of pages i had as i read through. my cell phone was beeping once in a while, though (thanks for the company:)). and that was all i had for a home alone weekend. a good lunch. a good friend. two books read from cover to cover. and a nap that lasted forever, with a dream i've forgotten.

and the home i called for silence came crumbling down when they have arrived. riot. migraine attacked as they came crashing my room.

afterall, it was great to be home alone. but not all the time:P

goodnight... :)

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waiting in vain

somehow, the excitement just died away with each day that passed as we waited for it to finally become official.

then it was. four days since.

i must say that i am happy. though, i could not fill it in with outmost content or even with bursts of joy. i am glad that it is here. but i could not revel in the news that was long overdue.

i cannot complain any further. it is here, and i am grateful that it is. this is what we have just been hoping to come. to be accredited. at the very least, to regard as someone that has raised herself up a notch in her own pedestal. they say that a name is just a name. but it isn't to us, because it is far better than any amount to begin with.

i have accepted the fact, and i am dropping all the others that makes me feel agitated of myself even more. otherwise, i will still be complaining. i might as well rejoice that it has come, no matter how long i've waited, or how remorseful it came. at least it did. i am not settling for anything less though. it's just that i cannot stretch it any further. i have accepted that there are just some things that we really do not have any control of. and being in no position to contest, beyond my defenses. i am up to the limits that i would like myself to think that it has approached acceptance.. plainly out of utter respect.

and again, i am happy. i will celebrate that i have come to accept my new post. i have come to accept that i am beginning to think a bit more "mature" (excuse myself for the lack of a better term). and that now, afterall, what matters to me most.

i was hopeful for years, in search for things i have been praying... of wanting, living, loving for. in my heart, i believe that it will come in due time.. oh well, some if it will. some if it, i still do not know. they may come in grandeur, with fireworks as i embrace them on their arrival. or they may come at the worst moment or instance i could have never imagined even welcoming.


x's: on a lighter note, i watched korina's interview with toni gonzaga. i am a fan, but not quite. although i am glad that she now has her love her life. haha cheezy. but he's cute, and i think she deserves him and vice versa. i am really amazed that she finally get to meet him, after all the men that came rummaging her life:P she's blessed. and happy:)

so when does waiting become "worth the wait"?

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From Bom:)

i am leeching this from my one of my dearest friends, bom. :) i found myself amazed that i have the same feeling for different people. strangely, i feel that we are talking about the same person... (which of course, is impossibly true, hehe!). thanks bom for this. i am letting my sentiments out for them unknowingly. i have alot of people i want to say something, but this might be overkill. hehehe. the list might go on and on.. and on.. and on.. and on........

RULES:
1. Write something about/for fifteen DIFFERENT people.
2. You can NOT (read: NEVER) say who they are.
3. If someone asks you which one is about/for them, you are NOT to tell.

*************

1. I really admire you for your guts. To where you've been and have achieved. I wish I can reach the same success as you have now. In all aspects.
2. Sana nagkakilala tayo ng mas maaga. Hay:( and Hay:)
3. Sana may gift ka na talaga sa birthday ko:P
4. Di ko talaga alam kung bakit, pero di talaga kita kaya kausapin ng matagal. Ewan ko talaga. I just feel indifferent towards you.
5. Hehe, despite what I have been through with you (or you with me), I am glad that we are really in good terms. I am happy that I can tell you anything about everything right now;)
6. Sayang lahat ng pinagsamahan. Na-miss kita. Pero ganon ata talaga. I wish I could see you and give you a hug.
7. Di ko alam bakit naging ganon lahat, pero sorry, di ko na gusto na maging super ok tayo. Wala na talagang chance mabalik sa dati.
8. I know you're just right there whenever I need you kahit na nde tayo magkita at matagal na nde mag-usap:)
9. Gusto ko ma-try na lumabas na tayo lang.
10. I know things have changed now, and ok na ako. Hehe weird pero di kita nami-miss:P
11. Gusto ko na sabihin sayo kung ano totoo, pero pag sinabi ko, baka madaming magbago.
12. Takot ako sayo. Dahil sa maraming bagay.. Lalo ngayon. Hay :S
13. Alam mo na ayaw ako sinisigawan, ginagawa mo pa din!
14. You're giving me the strangest feeling I've never felt in my entire life. Go figure.
15. Sorry sa lahat ng masamang nagawa ko sayo. I know what I did was totally wrong, and I do not have any excuse for being just that. I never really got around saying sorry, but I am. Really.

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no masochist for nothing

i am emotionally wrecked this week. i cannot further elaborate on the nitty-gritty details, but i am on an indefinite sanity with an imbalanced state of mind.

i can barely recall the last time i shed tears. however, those tears have flowed in ducts that sore a fortnight, were tears of sadness. now, i shed tears of incomprehensible disbelief, of betrayal, of being hopeful for nothing, of deprivation to that chance i thought will compensate for waiting. i was given false hopes. i may be wrong for assuming, but i will never have assumed if i have never been told. i am hurt not because i was defeated of a chance, but i am hurt because i knew that i was not given what i deserved. that i did not receive what i knew, with all my heart, i knew was for me.

my heart has been amassed with spears of doubt and fear. daggering to every nerve, seemingly making me numb. i am frightened that i may fall into a trap that i cannot escape. only finding myself slowly being devoured into what seemed to be a quicksand.. struggling for survival. i do not know when to stop. i do not know if it's even starting. i am beginning to think that there must be something wrong. but i beg myself to differ. talk about self-contradictory madness. i am still trying to convince myself that there is nothing wrong. i am hopeful that i can still bear with it. that i will not give up until the limit has been pushed.

i am mad. crazy. depressed. puzzled. hurt. deprived. hurt. scared. unnoticed. torn. hurt. then again, i am no masochist for nothing.

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FT

i miss you for so long, that i almost forgot how you looked. i have gotten the chance to get back to you. a glance maybe. i had that chance to rekindle the moments we had together, but it was quite too short. i missed you. and seeing you that time has made me feel that i'll always have you. my friend.

as we held hands and bid farewell, barely touching my fingers to yours.. lingered for as long as i can remember.. my heart was breaking that i know it will take more time for me to see you again.. yet rejoicing that i know we will still, in the not so far future.


i was told that the sites to where our refuge of emotional baggages reside has been blocked. well, i hadn't noticed since i was too "busy" keeping myself "busy" these days. i am mixed up with stuff that i cannot seem to keep myself in order. hehehe.

i do not have anything much to say now but i just wanted to revisit my spot. i miss this spot. it has been abandoned for so long a time that i cannot even recall the times that i wanted moments to be written. or those that i wanted to be shared. or those that i just wanted to type it away.

i miss you. i miss this. i miss talking to you for as long as i can. for being there, listening (erm, reading, or whatever you may call it) for all my yakkings. you know much of what others don't. most of the time you are the first to know. and you never forget, because it is and will always be written. i miss this, with my fingers strike the keys as i free-flowingly tell you the details of my story. i miss you. it is you.. my recourse to all emotions. this is you. i do not know for how long i can let it happen, but i know that i will always have you, and you will always have me.

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830pm

i cannot remember the last time i've watched deal or no deal. hehehe. which means, that it has been ages since i last got home that early. lahat sila nagtataka, ang aga ko daw dumating. pwede naman pala eh. bakit nga ba hindi?

touch down, 830pm. what a record. this is the earliest i've gone home since the start of the year. 12th day of the 2nd half of 2007. whew.

i got to watch DOND. i got to read 2 chapters of harry potter (the last two to go!). i got to blog! and i got goodnight kisses from the cute gremlins in spongebob pajamas. awwwwwww:">

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walang tawiran. nakamamatay.

i am sharing this entry with my friend, tobe. we swore that this will be the last time that we will take chance of risking our lives crossing that "street".

so why did the chicken crossed the road?

minsan sa buhay natin, kelangan sumugal. sabi nga nila take chances. opportunity only comes once. eh minsan hindi mo alam kung yung oportunidad na yun eh dumaan na, padaan palang. or andyan na. kung pang-ilan.. kung una.. pangalawa.. pangatlo. kailan mo nga ba malalaman na eto na ang tamang panahon para tumaya sa lotto at makuha ng jackpot.

malamang sa hindi, walang nakakaalam. tyans (hehe, chance) nga e. tanong natin kay google kung ano daw ang tyans.

according to my ever reliable world-wide-web partner in life:
- a risk involving danger
- an unknown and unpredictable phenomenon that causes an event to result one way rather than another

it is unpredictable. and a risk. so, FORTUNE FAVORS for the BRAVE SOULS!

so yun. makukulit lang talaga kami na ulit-ulitin ang pagtatangkang makamit ang aming mithiin. ang makasakay ng shuttle sa may Mall of Asia. pumunta kami ng 10pm, 930pm 9pm, 8pm. wala pa ring tumambad na sasakyan na maghahatid samin papunta sa katimugang bahagi ng Maynila. hanggang sa napagod na kami, at napag-isipang, hindi na kami uulit.

bahagya kong naisipan ang malaking signboard na nakapaskil sa gitna ng two-way-four-laned street. WALANG TAWIRAN. NAKAMAMATAY. kung ako yung nasa bus, maasar ako sa mga taong tumatawid. kitang-kita na nga. binalaan ka na nga. KAMATAYAN na nga ang threat , tigas pa din ng ulo mo. balak mo nga lang talaga siguro magpakamatay ano?

we broke the law. risked our lives. took that chance. admittedly, we have become irresponsible citizens, being the pasaway that we were. there's no excuse to what we've done. we've broken the rules. i'm not the goody-two-shoes kind, and i won't clean my hands either. a crime is a crime. but then again, i realized that a chance gives you that possibility of a yes or a no. 1 or 0. black or white. slightly, there's that maybe. you'll never know what you're gonna get. but then, there's just a time, when you try to STOP and think rationally that it is not always taking chance. not at this point that we risk LIFE.

so yun, we ended up swearing to ourselves that we won't ever travel MOA by public transportation. oh, how i love makati. this is just the place to be.

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back... again!

there's just too many things that happened weeks or even months since i last got hold of myself into writing something spontaneous. not those of the usual, "fixed, please confirm". or those of unrelenting "not reproduce, please close". or of being required to put up an article i cannot start for weeks (due to lack of time, or have been busying myself to work -- so goes my apologetic alibi to the sports committee head). thanks to the ever reliable tobe. worldplay really is the way to go;) we got ourselves printed again in that infamous corporate magazine. hehe.

anyway, there's just too much i have left unwritten since the last one i posted. in fairness to my "busy schedule", i really was swamped. add the fact that i lost my home support pc for two weeks, which is my only portal to this world. it was supposed to be my excuse for getting myself a new laptop, but i suddenly felt that there's no urgency for that gadget-y vanity. hehehe. not yet. i still can manage to keep up with the very slow refresh of this out-of-date, bulky, heavy, slow-paced office-owned tower computer. with all honesty, it would be best to donate this to public schools. more kids would be so much happier if they do. and i'd be happy that they have one, and i'll have a replacement:) everybody happy:)

well, im off to bed for now. i'll be back soon.

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GA SE03 EP21 - Desire

too often the thing you want most, is the one thing you can't have.

desire leaves us heartbroken. it wears us out. desire can wreck your life.

but it's tough as wanting something can be. the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want.

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i hate math!!

when i was in kinder, i was 1st place in math contest. the picture is very much with me still, having miko (my highschool friend, well since elementary days [classmates gr3 - gr5, all hs yrs except 2nd yr], but let me start counting on 3rd yr... so 9 years to date) stand by the 2nd place box (with his khaki shorts unzipped:P). i can still clearly remember that i was left alone, having all contestants been kicked off the contest hall. hehehe. i wasn't aware of any rule at that, i was just puzzled why i was alone. hahaha. i had fever later that day:P

i have been asked to join math quiz bees since then, but i can only recall winning the first time i joined. i aced math when i was in elementary (maybe because it was just plain adding or subtracting apples). my math teachers favored me (which i never enjoyed).

i have never been the treasurer for the class. we voted for those who have been joining math competitions outside school. or those who almost perfected math exams. i was either elected for secretary, sgt at arms (yeah right!), or even as president (which i didn't want.. ever!).

i sucked at math when i was in highschool. total sucker for trigo and geom, on my 3rd year in highschool. i hated this year, because this was the year i got line of 7's for math. yuck. math. then i hated math. i hated my math teachers as well, because they kept calling me with my sisters' names (they were two under them, so they kept calling me either with my last name, or with two first names). i hated them, because i they're too smart, i couldn't measure up. hahaha. add the fact that we were in a sp*cial section.

when i was in college, well, easy does it --1st and 2nd year was a way to go. 3rd and 4th year was a different story though. i hated my 1st trigo prof because it was a 7am class. and he's late when i'm not. and he isn't when i am. my 2nd trigo prof was a total monkey (not because he's a wise a**hole, but he damn looks like one). i hated him because he had multiple choice for an exam, and didn't accept my answers with erasures (which, i contested that it was not specified in the directions). more so, having a 3.5 grade point average for his class despite his threat to "take him personally". how professional, professor! and oh, i can never forget him wishing me a christmas gift -- to be a good girl. bletch!

i hated math. i hated it much now, that i can't even put up a mental calculation of a simple addition of how much i ate. or how much is the jeepney ride from RP to office for 13 persons? i hate math that i have to compute more or less a hundred shirts i've been trying to cater to my sister (whom i had a bad conversation.. erm, more of a high-pitched argument, just now, which brings me to this). i am pissed off that i have to compute all this stuff for her, which makes me realize then that i do not like to have business doing all the math.


a pop question was asked during our summer getaway. what contest you most hated ever joining? i said, declamation. and your most liked? spelling:P having joined math contest the most in my entire school years.. never really liked them.

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I don't drink beer

Another testimony that this is crap. Or I am crap?:P

You Are Barney

You could have been an intellectual leader... Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem."

The Simpsons Personality Test

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What mood am I in today?

For the lack of anything to say.

Though, this blogthings change answers when you answer the quiz with a 30-second gap, it is but a confirmation that today doesn't really mark a good one for me.

Yes, all three!

You Aren't In the Best Of Moods

While you aren't full on depressed, things aren't going your way. You may be hurt, angry, frustrated... or all three. Not to worry - you'll be feeling fine in no time.

What Mood Are You In?

CRAP BAG!

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quotable quotes

If you don't have anything good to say, please. Keep your mouth shut.

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Ally Mcbeal Stints

Highschoolish, as Ally Mcbeal series seems to me. It was far more than what I have imagined sympathizing with Calista Flockhart's character. I was not a huge fan though, before. But I do get a hard laugh when she imagines her very self at the back of her head being dumped on a garbage truck. Or even biting her toe. Never fails.

Don't hold on to everything because you might just walk away with nothing.
- Angela

Bygones.
- Fishism

Just don't be condescending.
- Ally

John Cage is too much erratic. I don't like him. Hate is too much of an emotion to someone or something non-existent. Rather, should I say, too fictional to play a role with my emotions.

Hate to say this Ally, but Billy and Georgia really look good together :( Although, Billy is really a good catch.. I would love to think that your 'The One' and not 'The Only' will be right there to catch you. I can't remember much of Robert Downey Jr's character, but I am more thrilled to more men barraging in your office:D

Just as I remembered. Now I know where you got the "designated-sensitive-male" title. It's Billy! Maaaaan, way beyond. Hehehe.

Oh, yes. I second the motion, attorney. I just don't want to be alone:(

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benta

I cannot vividly remember what last year has been. But from what I can barely recall, I was laid back on our lumpy couch watching Star Cinema movies of Aga Muhlach. Now, I can't even seem to finish one movie without being paged. All My Life movie, I had to pass just because of one ring. Arrgghh.

This is terrible. 16 hrs of OT has been very much beneficial to the cost of this company. My movie marathon has been busted, thank you very much.

I hate being on-call!!!

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on pet peeves #003

I just don't know if I am that irritable to put much attention on simple things. But at times, you just can't simply take it.

On questions. How would you feel if somebody asks you a question, and when you do try to give him/her answers, it seems like you never gave any. Like hello? Did I just talk with the hand? Or my answers were blown by and gone with the wind?

Don't ask questions if you really do not want answers. We really don't mind if you don't ask. I would not like to be asked just for the heck or etiquette of asking. Don't even bother.

Just feel free to comment on anything. Bletch!

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on baking

Last saturday, my everdearest nagger mother woke me up 9 o'clock on a crisp summer morning. That is for me to cook lunch. What is? LUNCH. My sister who use to prepare the dish was out for work. My mother will be out as well, going schools all over the city for my youngest sister's transferral. My sister, next to me, is not to be trusted with the kitchen so it's on me (I will be out for a lunchdate with friends, one who will bitch out about med school! haha!). On a side note, I am saddened that my sister's transferring because that's my Alma Mater! For 12 freakin' years!!! I so wanted her to feel that pride I felt when I graduated. And with loyalty, I must say I cannot find any other school that can be far better than my Alma Mater. Hahaha. *digressing.....* Anyway, back to cooking lunch.. I was asked to cook "bulanglang" (for those who don't know, it's a veggie dish -- sabaw na nilagyan ng luya, with matching kalabasa, sitaw, sigarilyas, and fried tilapia. I so love this dish, but I don't know how to cook it!!! I was given directions, put this, put that after this, after that.. But I really dunno what magic spell they recite to make it taste like... FOOD! Hahahaha. After mixing and matching. I still ended up having, erm, nilagang tubig. Or piniritong tubig. What a waste. Hahaha. I dunno how they were able to rectify it (I was out for lunch:P), but I saw that the bowl of soup was there lying on the dining table. Meaning somebody ate it:D

Having said all that crap, I am now convinced that I could've been better in the kitchen if I was a baker:P Hehehe. After watching Stranger than Fiction (which is recommended. Life is short:D), with Maggie Gyllenhall baking cookies, I am inspired to be a baker. Hahaha. Something I can imagine myself doing besides typing and staring blankly at a monitor. Hahaha. FYI, no expertise whatsoever. My only baking attempts are the Macaroons we usually do during Christmas and New Year... which I'm proud to say always sold out:P hahaha. Only (!!!), I forgot the recipe because it's my sister's. Hahaha.

I'm planning to have a session with a colleague who will teach me some "baking skills". More than mixing with a spatula:P do I have a bright future in this? Well, definitely brighter than cooking lunch!

i do know how to cook spaghetti, though:P

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Quotable Quotes

All good things come to an end. Because the best things are yet to come:)

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On Setting Goals

I've watched Rated K the other night and there was this 5-million-peso-richer guy who has a "dream board". He posts all pictures he "wants" or "dreams" or "aims" to have. His "dream board" has a car, a house, countries he wanted to visit.. So cool, that he posted 5-peso bill which he drew 6 zeroes more. And now he proudly says that his bank account figures is somewhat similar to the said "5-peso-bill".

I'm making that one for myself too:D Sabi nya, when you want something you should write them down. Pag nasa-isip mo lang, imagination pa lang. Pag nakasulat, naka-plan na. Hehe.

He said that he still rides the MRT, LRT, jeep or the bus. He has the "luxury" to splurge into normal things.. I wonder after that episode he will still have that luxury without people swarming around him, like a celebrity.

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of pet peeves #002

waiting for the elevator.. people pressing the down button when they are going up.

will it make the elevator go down faster?!?

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waiting for a star to fall

another shooting star!

yey! i had yet again come across the sight of a falling star. or a shooting star. what's their difference anyway? kung pataas siguro, shooting. kung pababa, falling. hehe, hula lang:P. METEORS na nga lang. still i was not able to make a wish. not because it was just too impossible to make a wish instantaneously as it falls across the sky, but i just didn't know what i exactly wanted. i did not want to make a wish that will change another person's mind, thru decisions and actions that will be beneficial to me. (assuming that wishes really come true:)). or something that will be physically impossible to come true. (like me winning the lotto even if i don't bet:P). i was carefully thinking of that "wish" that i certainly want to come true, that will make a remarkable signficance in life.

but i ended up with nothing.

now, what i want to do for my next beach getaway is to spot another meteor. i'll think of a wish now.. i'll be ready for one wish to come true:)

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i was wrong

i suddenly lost it.

just when i thought i was holding into something very precious, i was wrong. i wasn't holding into anything. neither precious. what is value when it is only considered valuable by one alone.

i trust that something will grow fonder with absence. but i was wrong. what is absence if it was never present? just when you thought it was there, it was just pretense after all.

assurance, i thought was something you can hold on to. but the rest is not assured. i was wrong. we can never be assured of anything. sometimes, somethings fall short of security.

for whatever it's worth, i give utmost importance to what i called the gift. i'll keep it for as long as i can. by certain norms, it is irrevocable. but then again, i must be wrong.

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Tender Juicy Hotdog

a real great loss.

it still haven't gotten into my nerves that, finally, he has come to leave us. the last day didn't feel like the last. maybe because there's just this feeling that it won't.

again, we had just lost one of the key persons in our team. i must say the he is really a genius. in all aspects in life. i admire him for his potentials, achievements, capabilities, intellect and most of all his passion for just about everything he does. who would have thought that in such a small built contains a gigantic heart and mind?

to tell you honestly, the first impression wasn't at all impressing. i got hired first. so when he was being toured and introduced to everyone, i thought he was a fresh graduate. he was a bit vertically challenged, and i had the feeling that i was taller than him (but in most cases, men just really seem smaller if i can look at them straight in the eye. and in most cases, i'm wrong:P). he looked like a probinsyano, na parang "bagong luwas ng maynila". hehe. sorry!!! see how judgemental i can be:P i thought of him as a bit shy type and meek. maybe because i never really got around into talking to him for about a month due to trainings. although i was a bit confused why he wasn't attending any. there was just this one training that he attended (i think it was UNIX) and our mentor said "hindi mo na kelangan to e, bakit andito ka pa?!". then, on that day i knew that he is on his late twenty's! i never had the slightest idea that this man has been busting himself to work for nine years! from that day, he became our "kuya" who would let us copy his case study. hehehe...

we became seatmates during our training. knowing me, who has a very short attention span during meetings, he always reminds me to keep focused. "huy makinig ka!". hehe.. eventhough he knows that i don't listen, he still guides me whenever i'm lost:D he still entertains my questions even if he's very concentrated into listening to our blue-nosed trainor. hehe. he's the bibo kid and the favorite student of all our trainors. he's not the pa-bibo kid. he's just that. without even trying..

thru all these years as teammate, i am fully convinced that this man is really a genius.

Carlos/Kaarlo, Carlo for me, has been a great friend and colleague. Within more than two years of seeing each other everyday, I have come to know the man that he is. We never had a hard time getting along with him. Funny, serious at times, joker most of the time, which is why we're having a hard time distinguishing what he is at a certain point in time. hehe. What I have realized from him is that he is a very patient man. He does not waste time and energy thinking of bad thoughts, having bad feelings, but diverts himself into doing something good. I have never seen him or knew of him having ill feelings towards others. He always sees the good side of everything. Positive thinker:P He also has a giving heart. He would give everything he can to help anyone. He is passionate with everything he does. As husband, that he provides everything that his wife needs. As a colleague, that he fulfills and exceeds expectation from his job. As a friend, by simply being there when you need him.

I will surely miss this bibo kid around. I will miss my seatmate during lunch. I will miss one of my south buddies. I will miss his kakulitan. I will miss his quotes. I will miss his stints.. his antics. simple pero malakas ang dating. I will miss his strums in the guitar. I will miss the very few driving-moments of his life. I will miss him. Carlo, cheers to your new found journey. I hope that path leads you to yours and Rona's greatest dreams. I pray that you may be able to fulfill all your plans.. and that you may find more growth, happiness and peace in your new career. I wish you the best of luck, and may God bless you even more. You deserve nothing but the best. Please do keep in touch. I would love to hear from you, more so if the news is about Carlos III. Hehehe. I'll see you around. Kampai!

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Emotional Ako Ngayon

Sabi ni ebot, wag daw ako magdecide kung emotional ako. Eh tuwing mga ganitong panahon, ang dami ko pa namang naiisip. Na hindi ko siguro maiisip ever kung nasa normal na katinuan ako. At baka hindi ko rin sya magawang gawin talaga, as in make the move, you know:P, if I'm guarded with my consciousness. Mas nagiging praning ako pag walang emotions. Hehe weird talaga.

Anyway, maybe there's just a barrage of emotions digging in due to several events coming in.. or going out. Hehe.

I'm sad because..
People just seem to leave like they aren't leaving anyone or anybody behind. Hehe. Bitter lang siguro ako kasi ako di pa nakakaalis. Haha. Crab:P Ang dami na nilang nang-iiwan. Grabe. Pati ang mga little angels namin iwanan na rin kami. Wuhuhuhu. Di nyo ba ako mamimiss???

I'm mad because..
May mga taong sadyang demanding. At mga maiinit ang ulo. Kala ko ako lang yun?!?! Haha joke. Pero nakaasar lang minsan. Kasi OA na. Hay. Yun lang naman. Di naman ako nagagalit masyado, masakit sa ulo:P

I'm sawi because..
Di ako maka-decide para sa sarili ko! Grr. Tanda ko na:( Pero parang bata pa din. I'm sawi kasi hindi ko ma-push sarili ko to go up. Go up to give up, sabi nga ng aking mabuting kaibigan/officemate na nilayasan na rin ako. Tsk. Hehehe. Sawi ako kasi parati nalang ako nag-hihintay. Kahit sang bagay. Dahil ba parati akong late, babawi sila sa ibang bagay sa buhay ko? Lugi!!! Tsaka I'm sawi kasi parating kulang sweldo ko.. Grr! Nagtatrabaho ako ha! Welga na 'to!

I'm happy because..
Though iniwan nila ako, eh I know masaya sila ngayon:) Kaya mas happy ako kaysa sad. Hehehe. Libre nyo nalang ako kasi yaman na kayo. Haha joke. Hehehe. Basta enjoy your new found journey. Wag nyo ko kakalimutan:P Yung isa, big time sa lugar na nde ko alam kung san. Hehe ok yan kasi para sa future at sa growth (kahit na hanggang 20yrs lang yung growth years:P joke) Yung isa, gusto nya talaga yun at dream nya yon, kaya alam ko kahit bigatin yan yakang-yaka pa din! Yung isa naman, hehe, alam ko mahirap pero ok yan. At least lahat ng napag-aralan mo eh ma-apply mo. Hehe. Astig yan, bilib ako sayo:) Idol na rin kita:P

I'm also happy because the people around me are happy as well. Yung isa, masaya kahit nde official ang kanilang relationship. Hehe, go go go! Enjoy ka lang. Kaso be on guard lang. Alam mo na.. Hehehe. Yung isa, masaya kasi official NA! Congrats!! Stay happy and cheers to more years of togetherness sa inyo!:) Pray kayo parati para sa matagal na pagsasama. Yiiheee! Pasalamat ka samin:P wahehe joke! Yung isa naman, dumating yung official nya, kaya masaya sya. Hehe. Yung isa, masaya kasi nag-level up na sya. Woothoo!! Libre mo naman kami! Hahaha. Daming trabaho, pero ok lang yan. At least level up! Hahaha. Para ka nang gasolina, tumataas ang presyo:P Yung isa, masaya din kasi feeling nya na-meet na nya ang kanyang The One. Nice naman. Kahit may problema, hehe, malay mo diba? Malay mo sya na talaga. hehe. Chill ka lang;) Yung isa naman, masaya kasi masaya sya sa bago nyang relasyon. Ayiiiiihiiii. Hehehe. I'm happy for you:) Na-feel ko naman na ok sya at ok kayo kaya ok na rin sakin. Hehehe. Gimik ulit tayo ha, yung libre mo ulit:D Bagong work din eh, kaya ok! Wooohooo!

I'm happy kasi nag-improve na ako. Hindi na ako impulsive buyer. Nakakaipon na ako ng totoo:p At! Maaga na ako pumapasok. Haha, what an achievement.

Above all, I'm happy kasi I'm going places now:) I'm still praying for my ultimate goal to come true:) Sana talaga. Hehehe. Sana rin makahanap na ako ng The One sa career.. at sana ma-meet ko si The ONE soon. Hehe. Wag muna ngayon. Travelling kid pa ako:P

Wag nyo ko masyadong pansinin. The time of the month is just around the corner, which explains spurts or bursts of emotions. Hehe. Anyway, there's just too many reasons to be happy, so why not be just that.. or even more than that?:P

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The Lakehouse

"How do you hold on to someone you've never met?"

I've been pinning myself to watch this movie since last year. I was just able to download a copy last month, and I got to finish watching it just now (in several installments). Hehehe. I finally decided to watch the entire film this weekend.

I am not sure how, or should I say what to react. Maybe because I really didn't get the chance to watch it with someone (hehe, other people's emotions count:P) or in one sitting. Or I had this notion that they made it in silverscreen after the local version of Il Mare came out (Moments of Love (?)). Tsk. Anyway, in general I like the movie. More than the fact that it's Keanu Reeves (waaah!) and Sandra Bullock tandem, the love story was heartful. I love the theme of putting faith into love. Or love into faith. Or loving with faith. Or faithful to love. I am amazed, eventhough cynical to the idea.. or doubtful (then again it's fiction), of them crossing paths. I was teary-eyed being on that part when Kate had that "chance" to really meet Alex thru his brother. And then I came flashing back those events and said to myself "waaahh, it was him!!!" :(( I do not tend to overanalyze movies, (some might have predicted that to happen..) and just wait as the movie rolls and the story unfolds. And when it came to that scene, man, my tears were really on the verge of rolling down my cheeks. The movie was great. I'd love to see this again. In one sitting, this time.. even better with someone (who will cry so I can. Hehe)

I know we'll meet. In time. I trust that the Lord will bring me to you. I am not sure if I've met you or you've met me. Or we could've bumped into each other, or been in a sandbox once upon a time. We may have that "lakehouse" that connects us. Somehow, someday, we will realize that we've just been separated by time. Eventually, our paths will cross and by then we'll know in our hearts that You and Me are our the ONES.

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Dig - Incubus

We all have a weakness
But some of ours are easier to identify.
Look me in the eye
And ask for forgiveness;
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again
Yes you are my friend.
We all have something that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how hard we try.
We all have someone that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine.
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
Oh each other....
When everything
Else is gone.

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Wrapping up February

Recap..

this blog just seems like a diary per month. hahaha. events. birthdays. trips. i'm really getting to used to writing down important events. and places i've been. and i'm glad that every month there's something wonderful that happens in my life. woah! i have a life! wooothooo!

Feb 9 - Miko's Birthday!
Feb 10 - 11 - Blue coral at Laiya, San Juan Batangas (with college friends)
Feb 14 - Valentine's Day <3
- Music and Lyrics movie date (with officemates, Pearl and Jek)
Feb 15 - Dinner at National Sports Grill (Wa and Den's birthday bash!)
Feb 16 - Manong's Birthday
-She's Birthday! (Dencio's Lunchout and A Veneto and Ghost Rider Nightout!)
Feb 21 - 23 - Palawan Getaway!!! (with OOCL peeps)
Feb 24 - Joanna's Birthday!
Feb 27 - She's birthday bash with TMB at Italianni's

february came in a jiffy. it was just three days short with january, but it seemed like the days have been whipped out of the calendar.. so fast, that my calendar still shows the month of feb. hahaha.

march is starting to roll... looking forward to better days. it's summer time, baby! enjoy the heat of the sun!

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U2 inspired

sometimes you can't make it on your own...

LSS.. tough. you think you've got the stuff?

i've been wondering if people around my cube has been pestered with my "singing" voice. hehehe. when you're at your headphones, you can barely hear anything from the background and feel like you're all by yourself, having the entire floor as your studio to sing at the top of your lungs. hehehe. well, i've been asking my ever reliable neighbor if he hears me. i am not sure if he's just too busy with work that everything else passes out and as if he builds his own little world in his territorial cube. or maybe, he's just too kind -- enough not to embarass me if he said that he's been hearing creaking or croaking voice once in a while.

i've been a huge fan of bono (well U2 for that matter) ever since time immemorial. well, exagg. hehe. but really, their songs speak far from just a simple emotion. feelings. more of joy than happiness. more of grief than sadness. more of high than just plain excitement. of course, the realization just came kicking in just then.. when i got the bang in the head that -- oh, i know how to read between the lines now.

last song syndrome. sometimes you can't make it on your own. every so often, we project a facade -- of indelible strength, of sheer apathy/indifference, or of perceived happiness. we put up a front to cover up a flaw. however, in time, the wall that we built for shield will start crumbling down and peeking into the crack where the true facet lies. then, we catch ourselves staring blankly, as if the crime we have committed has been disclosed. there's no turning back. we're screwed.

and now we do not have anything else left to do.. not to be on our defenses, but rather be admitting of the crime. that we are fully incapable of testifying for our pretenses. there's no escape. everything has been divulged. the prisoners of feign are awaiting their mates.

why do we put up such a deceiving front? well in fact, we know that in time, that front will just break, as rocks crumble as they are weathered in time. then we just find ourselves pathetically unguarded. unshielded. out of defenses. most of all.. guilty.

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When you wish upon a star

I cannot remember the last time I had been under the canopy of a myriad of stars.. But last night was a sight to see. I had a panoramic view of the sky.. unscathed of any impediment in the horizon.. clear, despite the darkness of the nightfall.

More than the fact that I was amazed of the gazillion stars twinkling, the sky stunned me yet again with a blink-of-an-eye-appearance of a shooting star! In my twenty-three years, it was the first time I came across this heavenly body. No, I wasn't able to make a wish. I was so stunned.. then one minute I came telling everybody of the shooting star I saw. I forgot about the wish. I came waiting for another, but to no avail.. My eyes were drooping to take another chance.

The moon was also a stunner. The half-moon, lined with a red shade, hued with a bit of sepia.. It looked a bit sad. It was not with the stars, as if making its own time to shine.

It amazes me to see these so clear, that I do not have to take a flight up to the penthouse.. or to be impossibly in a city without an edifice to hinder me in enjoying the view.

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february na!

so fast. january's thirty one days had come to pass.

looking back, as 2006 came to an end, there were a lot of happenings that closed the year with a blast. three outreach activities (book drive, med mission, christmas party for special kids), road trip to tagaytay, six christmas parties (iwa, opi, isd, newbies, kubo, family), four exchange gifts (isd, iwa, newbies, family), first-timers-listings adding up (fort -- brazil, krispy kreme), thousands of photographs. there's just too much with the last quarter of last year that made me realize that the year i had was marvelous.. which made me look forward to another year of more joy and happiness.

leading me to 2007, which came with a good start. refreshed with a positive mindset, with goals to achieve, with plans to put in action, and with a renewed spirit to boost. january has come to pass, and i am proud to say that i have come to put things into perspective.

- an extraordinary experience at pyrolympics (parang may stampede!)
- wall climbing (and dinner and coffee at power!:))
- deja vu (good movie to start the year!)
- EK (jode's first time, our nth time;))
- birthdays (january celebrants, thanks!!)
- badminton (physical activities on the go!!)

february, here i come!

**i've just realized lately that i have a multiply account. which i haven't used for a year, or two. i was sticking with my photobucket account (which i thought was already great because of its 1G size). but i was surprised that multiply doesn't have limits.

**i realized also that the old version of blogger is really history. i think they're pushing their users to switch to beta. i don't have a google account!

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coincidence?

for the entire first month of 2007, i have been just slacking off my butt, pretending to be busy (which requires hardwork, really:P). my brain is totally dysfunctional for any "intellectual" productive work, but for physical and recreational activities. hehehe. i've been in constant record for tardiness and i have no excuse. i plead that my brain cells are sluggishly recuperating from the holidays.

i have yet to put something worth-posting, regarding my past activites for this month and alot of momentous events for the last quarter of 2006. as i have pledged to myself, and to the rest of the world (hehe), that i will become a DOER now, this month has been productive -- for the other side of my life:D maybe that explains it (my other half on downtime:P). in any case, i have yet to share something. due to indolence (in work, and in this blog as well), i have been running through my archives and discovered (!!!) that some things do happen on the 25th of july. well, technically, 24th this year. yc, taft, tmb. our first official meeting. that same night, or midnight, i dunno what time it was, where we called ourselves to slavery of "librehan". haha.

i shouldn't be paying much attention to this. but, i was just amazed on how things have come into place.

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