Bittersweet dilemma of Goodbye

Friday, August 06, 2004

the news has been delayed for one day. we have survived.. the long and winding and tiring road.. it marks the end.. of the excruciating pain.. of all patience and perseverance and hope all wrung from our restless bodies and worn-out spirits. and most importantly, it marks the end of the phase. just as what has been wished, will be moving on to another chapter.

but there's nothing to celebrate.. just yet? the feeling is absurd. my heart is filled with mixed emotions. i am happy yet sad. i am relieved but i am not just as fulfilled as i wanted to be. i am grateful that we have crossed the line but regretful that i have not yet done things i could and should have done. i am always on the contrary... with myself!

the overwhelming feeling has dwindled so soon. different emotions came shooting and firing on me. bringing me to another state where i found myself thinking so much about "the other" matters in my life. flying to another dimension where future lies. i don't know. maybe i just have resurrected the PARANOID side of me.. AGAIN. well, undoubtedly, it never died anyway. it was just there waiting to be triggered again.

i just have to revel on the glory of pain... it's always the bittersweet dilemma of MOVING ON.

goodbye? no such thing. say hello to tomorrow, for it is another day... no different from yesterday.

i have yet to believe that every person that comes in and out of our lives are bound to a special purpose. whatever the reason may be, whoever the person is, they will become a part of us... may be to make us or mar us. whichever it is, the reason is indubitably lucrative for our existence. the tangible connection of our lives may be broken, but the spirits will always keep their bond. with this, i believe that any one who has walked with me through the course of life may not take the journey with me still, but will always leave his footstep in my heart.


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